Answer
Answer:
As-Salamu ‘Alaykum my dear sister,
I am very happy alhumdulilah to hear of your success in your PhD studies! It is not easy, being in a new country, and new environment away from home. I am very proud of you and your efforts. I understand you still miss him dear sister. We often miss those who we use to be close to when we do not have other things to fill that void of closeness. I am sorry there are issues with language barriers, connecting with sisters and so on. However, in sha’ Allah, in time you will make connections.
Try looking on the internet for meetup.com and see if there are any groups in your area for expats, or Muslims, or even something you may be interested in learning (if you have time 🙂 ). I know when I moved, I did not know anyone and I joined a meetup group here for Arabic Language as I wanted to learn Arabic. I met a few wonderful sisters and we are still close and do things together. I also joined a Meetup for Qur’an Reading and Study and met several nice people that way. I also started taking power walks for exercise, and along the way I would take pictures of flowers and beautiful things I saw. This lead to my interest in attending Islamic Calligraphy gatherings and meeting more nice sisters. The point is dear sister, the more you expand your thinking creatively and do things that interest you, the more chances you will have to meet new friends.
Also, concerning your thinking about that guy, try to let the thoughts pass when they come. Just let them flow through, without giving them any other thoughts such as recalling memories or thinking of what you wish could be. That gives the thoughts more power. Let them flow through your mind and dismiss them with another thought or activity that is not related to him. In time yes, the thoughts will get less, if you do not empower them. Also, when you get out more, (which you have been doing and I’m so happy and proud for your efforts!), you will find your mind will become preoccupied with other new things besides him.
Sister, Allah loves you and has blessed you with a wonderful opportunity. But please, in sha’ Allah, just remember that with blessings often comes tests. This may be your test. Please stay strong in sha’ Allah! I know you can! Besides, Allah (SWT) has your future husband waiting for you, but how can Allah (SWT) bring you your husband when you are still thinking about this guy, who gives you no thought?
Please make du’aa’ that Allah grants ease and enables you to release what is not good for you (thinking of him) and bring you to that place of freedom wherein your heart can be open for your future husband in sha’ Allah.
You are in our prayers sister,
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