Answer
Answer:
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum Sister,
Thank you for sending us your question. I am going to start my answer by addressing your last comment about committing suicide. Do NOT ever think about committing suicide; you are a valuable person and you would be doing yourself and the rest of the world a great injustice if you did that. Whenever you get that thought, push it away!
It seems like you had a difficult time in high school. The girls constantly made fun of you and put you down. I am sorry that happened to you and it is very unfortunate that this kind of bullying and humiliation is taking place.
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Unfortunately, many teenagers are in your same position. No matter what country you live in, you can find that bullying is a huge problem in schools, colleges, and even families. More efforts should be made to address this issue on a community, national, and even international level.
Sister, you said it yourself “I am a brilliant student; all my teachers and family say so, and they had great expectations from me.” Believe this about yourself because I am sure that it is true.
What you need to do is to spend some one-on-one time with you and yourself. Ask yourself, “What do I like about myself? What do I want to become? What are my strengths, and what are my weaknesses?” Really dwell on the answers that you give yourself and start from there.
In the meantime, try to keep yourself away from people who put you down and keep company with people who care about you. You need time to rebuild your confidence and most importantly, you need to trust yourself.
Every human being makes mistakes, but the successful people are those who continue to believe in themselves and feel good about themselves – even if they fail over and over again. You are 19, you are intelligent, and in sha’ Allah you can certainly have a bright future. Believe that about yourself even if you don’t really “feel” it right now. Give yourself some time to heal.
During your healing time, keep good company and focus on yourself. Some suggestions would be to write in a journal, spend time with friends and family, being physically active by exercising or playing sports, learning a new hobby like painting, cooking, sewing, etc.
Nurture yourself in order to become independent and strong. Once you regain your confidence and strength, you can go back to actively pursuing your goals.
I would also recommend that you see a counselor. A counselor could be a good source of guidance and can help you gain more insight into your thoughts and feelings.
I ask Allah to give you strength and determination to allow you to overcome your fears and to reach your full potential.
Salam,
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