Talking About Sex with Spouse on the Phone: Permissible?
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Talking About Sex with Spouse on the Phone: Permissible?



Reply Date

Mar 21, 2017


As-Salamu alaykum. I got engaged in January 2016 and then we did nikah in July 2016. We didn't speak to each other during this period. My wife is a `alima and she teaches in a madrasa. One day she told that her family friend gave birth to a child and she asked me how babies are born. Later I found out that she doesn't know anything about marriage life like sex. So is it OK if I talk to her about that on the phone because we are not together yet?



Talking About Sex with Spouse on the Phone

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu waRahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear questioner, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.

In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

If, as you say, you are a married couple, then it is fine for you to speak of sexual intimacy with your spouse on phone or private chat sessions. Neither of you should have no inhibition in such matters between both of you.

Islam celebrates sexuality. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “You stand to gain spiritual blessings in establishing intimacy with your spouses. Upon hearing this, the companions asked, “How can we be rewarded in fulfilling our physical desires? He said, “Even as you will be punished for seeking sexual fulfillment outside the fold of marriage, Allah will reward if you seek the same lawfully (as married couples).” (Abu Dawud)

If your wife has no knowledge of such matters, it is important for her to get educated on such crucial issues. Here are two good books I would recommend for both of you to read together. The first one would be a great resource to discuss such matters. So get them and try to educate yourself and your spouse.

Here are the two books:

The Muslim Marriage Guide Book by Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide by Ekram Beshir.

I pray to Allah to bless your marriage and grant you joy in your relationship.

Allah Almighty knows best.

About Sheikh Ahmad Kutty

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty is a Senior Lecturer and an Islamic Scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

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