Pushed to Divorce My Wife: Can We Remarry?
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Pushed to Divorce My Wife: Can We Remarry?

Questioner

Sayid

Reply Date

Feb 25, 2017

Question

As-salamu `alaykum. I was angry with my wife on her disobedience. Some of my family members pushed me to divorce her. They also told me clearly that right way to divorce the wife in Islam is to divorce her three times. I was ignorant and said to wife three times “I divorce you” in one sitting. Later, I found that divorcing 3 times is haram in Islam. I also found out the evidence that it was a conspiracy and the intention of my family members was wrong and they did it on purpose to separate me from my wife permanently. I also have 2 small kids and a permanent separation will destroy our lives. Many scholars here (Pakistan) are telling to do a halala, and many are telling that she is still permissible for me without halala in her `iddah. So I am totally confused. Please, advise me: can I take my wife back without any halala? She is still in `iddah. Many thanks.

Mufti

Answer


Pushed to Divorce My Wife

Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Brother, thank you for your question that shows your sincere desire to maintain your family.

Divorce is the most hateful permissible thing in the eyes of Allah. So, spouses should never resort to it until they have used all the possible means to maintain their relation.

As for your question, uttering the divorce words three times in one session is not considered an irrevocable divorce (talaq ba’in). So, you can take your wife back to the marital life if she is still in the `iddah (waiting) period. But if the `iddah has expired, you can remarry her if she is willing provided that it’s your first or second time of divorce.

In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

The divorce you pronounced in this way cannot be considered as an irrevocable divorce; you can take her back as long as you do it within the `iddah period. If the `iddah has expired, you can remarry her.

Halalah (or al-muhallil) is worse than adultery; it is hiring a man to marry a woman simply with the intention of divorcing her after having sexual relationship with her; it is playing with Allah’s laws as eminent scholars have pointed out.

So, you may take back your wife, if you were pressured to utter these words and you did not have the intention to do so.

However, I advise you to learn to control your anger and seek professional marriage counseling to help you sort out your differences with your wife.

You may also consult the detailed answers on this site on how to resolve conflicts in marriage.

Moreover, you may think of getting the following book:

Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide by Dr. Mohamed Rida Beshir and Dr. Ekram Beshir.

Allah Almighty knows best.




About Sheikh Ahmad Kutty

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty is a Senior Lecturer and an Islamic Scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

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