Discussing Marital Problems with Another Man: Allowed?
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Discussing Marital Problems with Another Man: Allowed?

Questioner

Hadeer

Reply Date

Jan 15, 2019

Question

Dear scholars, As-Salamu `alaykum. My husband and I were having troubles. I turned to another man, not sexually, but talked to him about my problems. Will Allah forgive me? I feel anxious as if I'll lose my husband, but I have repented. Jazakum Allah khayran.

Mufti

Answer


Discussing Marital Problems with Another Man

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


In this fatwa:

You have breached the trust of your husband by turning to another man and confiding in him. Since nothing can be done about it now, the only course of action open before you is to repent sincerely to Allah and ask forgiveness of Him and cut the relationship you have forged with this man.


In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

You have breached the trust of your husband by turning to another man and confiding in him. Since nothing can be done about it now, the only course of action open before you is to repent sincerely to Allah and ask forgiveness of Him and cut the relationship you have forged with this man.

It is indeed a most treacherous road to tread; in this way, Satan may be spreading a net for you in order to lead you into adultery.

So stop your relations with this man cold turkey by doing whatever it takes. You must not allow yourself to break your marriage covenant and commit any infidelity.

Remember, Islam orders us not only to stay away from that which is clearly haram and forbidden but also from each and every door that may inadvertently lead to it as well.

Should there be a need for you to seek counseling or clarification on an issue that is contentious between you and your husband, the way to go about it is to approach reliable professionals or experts in the field.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Stay clear of all that is doubtful; for by doing so one is safeguarding one’s honor and religion.” And he said, “By doing what is doubtful one may slip into that which is haram,” thus endangering one’s honor and religion.

In conclusion, repent to Allah sincerely and ask Him to keep you steadfast in your religion and on the path of rectitude.

Here are few duaas you may use on a consistent basis:

Astaghfiru Allaha Al-`Azheem alladhee laa ilaaha illla huwa, Al-Hayyu, Al-Qayyoom, wa atoobu ilayhi.

(I ask forgiveness of Allah the Magnificent, beside Whom there is no other god, the Ever-Living, the Self-Subsisting Source of all beings, and I repent to Him.)

Rabbi qinee sharra sam`ee, rabbi qinee sharra basaree, rabbi qinee sharra lisaanee, rabbi qinee sharra maniyyee

(My Lord, guard me against the evils of my ears; Lord, guard me against the evils of my eyes; Lord, guard me against the evils of my tongue; Lord, guard me against the evils of my private parts!)

Allah Almighty knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.




About Sheikh Ahmad Kutty

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty is a Senior Lecturer and an Islamic Scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

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