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Can I Talk to My Fiancé?

27 December, 2016
Q As-Salamu alaykum. I'm engaged and I met the guy but we don't talk to each other because he is not mahram yet. But I don't know him very well. What if he turns out to be a bad guy or he has a bad history? It is my life and I'm going to live the rest of my life with that guy. So, can I talk to him to know him better and what he is like? Thank you!

Answer

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu waRahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear questioner, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.

Answering your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty is a Senior Lecturer and an Islamic Scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

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A man and a woman who are engaged to marry are allowed to meet and speak to each other as long as they do not isolate themselves and guard against exposing themselves to circumstances where they get carried away and thus fall into sins.

Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “That would enhance/foster the bonding.”

Engagement in Islam is simply a commitment or promise to marry at a future date or time. Its sole function and significance are to keep other suitors at bay for the time being. There are virtually no other legal consequences that accrue from engagement: In other words, it, in no way, does not make what was unlawful as lawful.

One must, therefore, never look at it as a license for engaging in endless chats on phone or email, etc. since, according to the laws of the Shari`ah, they are not a married couple, rather strangers. Failure to take this into account amounts to violating the principles of the Shari`ah. May Allah inspire in us good thoughts and good deeds, and protect us from the evil inclinations inherent in our souls!

Allah Almighty knows best.