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Can I Marry a Girl without Seeing Her?

21 January, 2018
Q As-salamu `alaykum. I have some questions about marriage: A) Does a man have to see and talk to his wife-to-be before marriage? If he prefers not to do that and trusts that he will like his wife anyway (like maybe his parents chose the wife and he trusts his parents), is that a valid marriage? B) If a woman is too shy, and does not have a relative to be wali, can another woman arrange a wali for her, like to talk to the local Imam on behalf of her?C) If she is shy to talk to other men, does she have to talk to her wali?D) If she prefers covering entire face (like with a veil), does she have to uncover her face when she is asked about her consent during marriage (for recognition purposes), or can she prefer not to uncover anything to anyone except her husband, and stay silent (which means consent)? E) Does the wali have any duty or right after the marriage has been completed, like: does he have to inquire if they are having a happy life or not? Or does his duty and right end as soon as the marriage is completed?

Answer

Sheikh Kifah Mustapha
21 January, 2018

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

In this fatwa:

1- Looking at a prospective spouse is recommended before the marriage to maintain mutual love and affection among the married spouses.

2- If one opts for other scenarios, it’s his personal choice as long as the conditions of valid marriage are met.

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Answering your question, Sheikh Kifah Mustapha, the Imam and Director of The Prayer Center of Orland Park and representative for Dar El Fatwa of Lebanon in the US, states:

A: It is Sunnah to see your future wife before you marry her as narrated to the Prophet (peace and blessings e upon him) when he told Al-Mughirah Ibn Shu`bah to look at his would-be-wife to feel comfortable (At-Tirmidhi).

Talking to her is also part of the understanding in our culture now. If you choose to drop your right and the girl approves of that too it should be fine.

B: If she was virgin, then the wali has to be a family member like father or brother or grandfather or uncle. Now if she was widowed or divorced, she can represent herself or assign the wali to whomever she wants. In many cases, women feel comfortable to have the Imam represent them.

C: The appointment of representation must be by clear means verbal or written so the wali would know for exact as he is representing the women mentioned. Being shy should not prevent her from making such statement for things to be official.

D: Covering face should be fine if other means prove that women name is the same written on nikah contract. For example; witnesses of others verify who she is or previous knowledge of voice and such. Being silent is only valid to her mahram wali.

E: The duty of the wali ends after contract is done. If he is a family member, then naturally people follow up and if not family she can always invite an Imam or others to help out in reconciliation or divorce.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.