Can I Commit Suicide for Marriage Refusal?
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Can I Commit Suicide for Marriage Refusal?

Questioner

Abdullah

Reply Date

Sep 14, 2016

Question

I know a girl from Pakistan and I am from India. I want to marry her but she feels that her mother will not allow us to marry and will kick her out. Does her mother have the right to stop us from getting married just because we are from different countries? This whole situation is making me feel extremely upset. It has been about two weeks since this happened and I feel extremely depressed. I have been constantly crying. I have not eaten anything. I just cannot get any sleep and I feel like I want to kill myself. I just cannot cope with this situation. What am I to do? I need help and you are the only reliable source I can turn to. I am desperate for help. Please, brothers, answer my questions. I just cannot bear this pain any longer.

Mufti

Answer


suicide

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we commend your pursuit of knowledge and your eagerness to know the teachings of your religion. We earnestly implore Allah to bless your efforts in this honorable way.

Brother, you need to put your trust in Allah. Ask Him to grant you a good spouse. Committing suicide is not a solution. You may approach the girl’s parents through suitable means — such as friends, imam of the masjid, a local scholar, relatives, etc. — to convince them that you will be a good husband for their girl. Also, the girl could play a role in convincing her mother of your eligibility to marry her. All in all, you need to rely on Allah, seek His Help, free your mind of all such evil thoughts as suicide, seek Allah’s Forgiveness, and draw yourself closer to Him, the Almighty.

In this context, Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid says,

Allah says, “And do not kill yourselves. Surely, Allah is Most Merciful to you. And whoever commits that through aggression and injustice We shall cast him into Hellfire” (An-Nisa’ 4:29-30). No matter what psychological pressure or extreme distress befalls him, a Muslim must not kill himself, because he knows that the punishment for doing this is a painful torment in the Hellfire. The Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Whoever throws himself down a mountain and kills himself will be in the Hellfire, throwing himself down forever and a day. Whoever drinks poison and kills himself will have the poison in his hand, drinking it in Hellfire forever and a day. Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron [i.e., a weapon] will have that piece of iron in his hand, stabbing himself in the stomach with it in Hellfire forever and a day.” (Al-Bukhari)

Starving oneself to death by refusing to eat is also a kind of deliberate suicide. How can a Muslim who believes in Allah and the Last Day think of trying to move from the suffering of this world to the suffering of the Hereafter, which is severer and everlasting? No sane person would do this. However, if she is the ideal woman mentioned in the Prophetic statement, “Men choose women [in marriage] for four reasons: for their money, for their lineage, for their beauty, or for their religiosity. However, marry the one who is religious and you will succeed.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim), we advise you to try to persuade her mother by taking the first step when asking for her hand formally.

After a while, circumstances may change, and they may change their minds and agree to the marriage. Whatever the case may turn to, you have to seek the Help of Allah and keep to patience. Allah says, “And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).” (At-Talaq 65:2) and “Allah will grant after hardship ease.” (At-Talaq 65:7)

Allah is the One Whom We ask to relieve your distress and grief.

Allah Almighty knows best.

Excerpted with slight modifications from www.islamqa.info




About Sheikh Muhammad Saleh Al-Munajjid

ًA well-known Saudi lecturer and author

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