In this counseling answer:
“There will always be difficulties in life. However, when we face impossible situations, we forget to realize the hidden blessings placed alongside the situation. So, be patient. Persistence and grit are very strong predictors of success. I also believe that you need to practice more gratitude to avoid thoughts of failure.”
Thank you for placing your trust in our ability to propose a solution to your current situation.
The situation that you are in right now is a very common one. There will always be difficulties in life. Sometimes, we even face an endless downhill route where there seems to be no solution or no way out. However, when we face impossible situations, we forget to realize the hidden blessings placed alongside the situation. When we are faced with a hard situation, we tend to become hopeless and discouraged, which causes us to become oblivious of other blessings leading to ungratefulness.
Even in the Quran, Allah (swt) says,
“Indeed, with hardness, there is ease.” (94:6)
Pay attention to the word ‘with’. It means that hardness and ease will be in our lives with simultaneity – NOT one after another. If Allah (swt) has placed us in a hard situation, there is surely something of benefit. No one has a life which is entirely perfect. There are always imperfections punctuating it.
Please, read and ponder over this narrative. Once, a man was in a hurry to catch his bus. He was late. Although he ran to get there before time, the bus was early by one minute and he missed it. He resorted to taking his car. When he took the car, he decided to stop by the café to buy himself coffee. However, he saw that the line was too long and decided otherwise. Because of traffic down the road, he entered his office late and missed his early morning meeting. Feeling agitated by himself, he went to his cabin and continued to work on his project. Later that day, he came and went to sleep. He had a dream in which he conversed with God. He asked God about missing the bus, missing his morning coffee, and missing the meeting. In response, God said, “I made you miss the bus because you had prayed to me in the morning to keep you safe. The bus had an accident right before reaching its destination. Then, I made you miss your morning coffee because the server had a virus which will be spreading to all those who bought the coffee from him during that hour. Lastly, I made you miss the meeting because the question that your boss would have asked you during the meeting would have been too hard for you to answer at the time. In the time that you sat alone, I made you figure the answer out.”
Like the man in the story, we are often discouraged by events at surface level and do not give thoughts to the things that we could have been prevented from. This story made me realize that behind every difficult situation, there is a hidden direction.
Actually, the same type of story occurs in the Quran as well, in Surat al-Kahf: the story of Musa and Khidr. Please study this particular story (or rather the whole surah) and read it every Friday as our Prophet (saw) advised us. It has so many lessons you will greatly benefit from.
So, when you feel down given that you had been unsuccessful for a given job/project, always try to find a reason behind. If nothing, believe that Allah (swt) will never do anything to cause you trouble. Everything has a reason behind it.
If you consider Albert Einstein, you will be surprised to know that he failed his high school when he was 17. If you are aware of the Harry Potter series, you will be surprised to know that the author, J.K. Rowling underwent dire circumstances and was living in near poverty conditions even till the age of 29 as a single mother. However, it is their persistence and the mindset of getting back up after failing which turned their lives the right side up.
But you can find many such examples in the Quran and ahadeeth. For example, in the case of Yusuf (AS), before he became the king, he faced dire situations but ensured that his faith in Allah (swt) never wavered.
Persistence and grit are very strong predictors of success. Those who are not talented but are gritty are bound to go further in life than those who are simply talented and not gritty. Grit means to hammer on something with complete effort and force and be certain of its break down.
I also believe that you need to practice more gratitude to avoid thoughts of failure.
In the Quran, Allah (swt) says,
“So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me.” (2: 152)
“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.’” (14: 7)
Being able to see the blessings rooted and hidden in each trial is a blessing and a skill that not everyone possesses. For this very reason, Allah (swt) says in the Quran that a very few of his servants are grateful.
This is indeed true. There’s quite a bit of research to support the idea that experiencing gratitude can positively impact both your mental/emotional state and your ability to achieve the life you want.
Dear brother, ask Allah (swt) constantly to make your situation easy. There are many specific du’aa’s you can say.
“O Allah, make my religion easy for me by virtue of which my affairs are protected, set right for me my world where my life exists, make good for me my Hereafter which is my resort to which I have to return, and make my life prone to perform all types of good, and make death a comfort for me from every evil).” (Riyad Al -Saliheen)
These two quotations should speak to you also:
“When you have hit rock bottom, there is only one way to go-up.” (Anonymous)
“The only predictable thing about life is its unpredictability.” (Anonymous)
There is never such a thing as assurance in life. No human being has the knowledge of the unseen-only Allah (swt) does. However, one thing humans are capable of controlling is their mindset and thoughts. When you think positively, positive things are bound to happen. Always think about achieving great heights and working towards making them a reality.
Remember, Allah (swt) says in the Quran,
“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (2: 216)
I hope that my answer provided the guidance that you are looking for.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.