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Prophetcy about Future Marriage: Shall I Consider It?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Dec 06, 2017

Question

I need your advice on my relationship. My fiance and I had been friends for 7 years before we started dating. I introduced him to my mum and she accepted him. After sometimes, my mom went to a pastor for counseling and she was told that he was not my husband ordained by Allah and that I will meet my own husband in the future. My mom is asking me to end this relationship. The guy doesn't believe in prophecy and neither do I. Ever since we started dating, I have been thankful to Allah for he is a good man, religious and trustworthy. I understand that Islam prohibits spiritual counseling. Therefore, I'm confused right now. I don't know if I should continue with the relationship and marry him trusting Allah to take care of whatever the future holds or obey my mom. By the way, my mom was a Christian before she married my dad and became a Muslim. She has been practicing since then, but she believes in prophecy. My mom likes my fiance but she's just scared because of what she was told by the pastor. She just doesn't want to give me into the wrong hands. She also advised that we continue to pray for Allah. My dad is not aware of the prophecy issue yet. He also doesn't believe in prophecy anyways.

Counselor

Answer


Prophetcy about Future Marriage: Shall I Consider It?

In this counseling answer:

“Understanding the intention of the counselor may also help you greatly in making a decision as to whether it is best to obey your mother and leave the relationship or continue and leave it to Allah. Consider both potential outcomes and consider the benefits and weaknesses of taking each path. Ultimately, what is most important to you and what will be most pleasing to Allah. Make istikhara during this time of consideration and He will surely guide you to make the best choice.”


As-Salamu ‘Alaikum Wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatuh sister,

Ma sha’ Allah, you have found a good man to marry that your parents like and you have known him for all this time as a pious and trustworthy man. This sounds like an ideal situation for a marriage, but unfortunately, your mother now has her concerns after some pastoral counseling that she recently sought which suggested that this marriage will not be a good one and that you should leave it. Understandably, as your mother, she is concerned. She wants what’s best for you and does not want you to end up in a bad marriage. The counselor she saw has led her to believe that this will be the case. Therefore, for your sake, despite the fact that she likes him, she doesn’t want things to end badly and is advising you to leave.

Firstly, when you use the word ‘prophecy’ if you are referring to fortunetelling, then Islamically this is haram. Such people may hear stories that may be true or may not, but they can be influenced by the Jinn. As we know, the Jinn will always be seeking to bring discord into marriages and relationships, so of course, they will advise against anything that could result in a happy marriage. If this is the case, then please do disregard the information from the counselor and do not act on it.

The best thing you can do is to pray to Allah. Specifically,  pray istikhara that Allah will guide you do what’s best for this situation. If the marriage is meant to be then He will allow it to happen. If it’s not then He will turn your heart from it and put obstacles in the way. This way, your actions will be guided by Allah and not by the words of someone who may be seeking counsel from somewhere that is Islamically unacceptable. You might also advise your mother to take the same steps too in accordance with Islam. Given that she is a revert to Islam, it may be that she needs educating on the matter and the dangers of fortune tellers.

Either way, as well as praying for guidance, also be sure to seek protection from Shaytan and the evil eye. Your situation of finding a good spouse with the support of your family is one that many desire to have so it is possible that you could easily become a victim to evil eye. Therefore, always remember Allah in everything you do whilst seeking refuge from Shaytan. Remember to read your morning and evening adhkar to seek protection and remain safe.

However, it may also be that this counselor is actually advising against the dangers of being in a relationship before marriage if it is that you are meeting with one another alone without your mahram present. In this case, he may be advising for your interests based on what he knows is pleasing in the eyes of Allah. You should seek a husband through the means determined in Islam where you will not be in a situation where you are alone together, until after marriage.

Understanding the intention of the counselor may also help you greatly in making a decision as to whether it is best to obey your mother and leave the relationship or continue and leave it to Allah. Consider both potential outcomes and consider the benefits and weaknesses of taking each path. Ultimately, what is most important to you and what will be most pleasing to Allah. Make istikhara during this time of consideration and He will surely guide you to make the best choice.

May Allah guide you to make the best decision and grant you a righteous spouse who will bring you happiness and success in this life and the next.

Salaam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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