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Parents Force Me to Marry a Hindu Guy

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Apr 11, 2018

Question

Assalamualaikum. I am a reverted Muslimah from India. My parents and whole family follows Hinduism and they don't like Muslims and Islam. As my age is now 27, my parents are forcing me a lot to get married. Of course, they have searched a Hindu guy. I have chosen for myself for marriage, an Islamic guy who is very much in deen MashaAllah. But I know my parents will never allow me to marry an Islamic guy. Now I am in a lot of confusion as what to do now for the following reasons: as I am a Muslimah, I can't marry a non-Muslim guy. It is prohibited. 2. I can't go against my parents as it is written in Quran that you can't go against your parents except that they force you to worship idols. 3. I can't remain unmarried as my parents will become worried about this decision of mine. It is also not allowed in Islam to hurt your parents. Also, they are not young enough now to bear this type of fact that their only daughter is not ready to get married. Please advise me on this urgently what I should do. The guy with whom I want to do nikaah is a really pious guy MashaAllah, I know him for 11 years. Please guide me.

Counselor

Answer


Parents Force Me to Marry a Hindu Guy

In this counseling answer:

  • In Islam, no one can force a woman to marry.
  • You need to explain to your parents that you are Muslim and you yourself have found one whom you wish to marry. You are an adult who is free to make her own decisions and choices.
  • If they are not approachable, marry this Muslim brother without their blessings.

As Salamu Alaykum dear sister,

As you are 27 and Muslim, I am wondering if you are living with your Hindu family. If not, do they know you are Muslim? If you do live with them or near them, how do they not know you are Muslim?

At any rate, you are about to be married. On one hand, you have already met a Muslim whom you wish to marry. Alhumdulilah. On the other hand, your parents have picked out a Hindu man for you and expect you to marry him. Finally, your parents are very opposed to Muslims and Islam.

Sister, you need to speak with your parents insha’Allah and explain to them that you are Muslim and you yourself have found one whom you wish to marry.

Of course, they will be very upset as I can imagine. However, you are grown and you are an adult who is free to make her own decisions and choices. Yes, we strive to please our parents and we seek to make them happy. However, this cannot always be the case.

In Islam, no one can force a woman to marry. A woman is free to choose who it is she will marry. You are Muslim now.

Additionally, as it is prohibited for you to marry a non-Muslim. It is permissible for you to go against your parents in this case as they are trying to get you to go against what Allah has stated is not allowed.  You are to follow Allah’s commands above your parents. This includes marrying a non-Muslim.

I am not an Islamic scholar so should you be confused by this, please do feel free to write the “Ask the Scholar” section. They may be able to make this concept clearer for you insha’Allah. You are not to follow your parents’ demands to marry one who is not permissible to you and it will not be a sin if you do go against them.

While I understand this does not negate your issue nor help deal with the cultural constraints you are up against, just know that you have Allah “on your side”.

I would kindly suggest that if they are approachable that you speak with them about your life. Tell them you are Muslim and you found a nice Muslim brother whom you wish to marry.

If they are not approachable, I would kindly suggest that you marry this Muslim brother without their blessings (you do not need permission) and try to repair the relationship with them afterward insha’Allah.

While this is not an ideal situation that you are facing dear sister, there are many tests and trials in this life. The main thing is that we seek to obey and please Allah.

We wish you the best,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad-Swan

Aisha Mohammad-Swan received her PhD in psychology in 2000. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York with a focus on PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, and Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. She is currently studying for her certification in Islamic Chaplaincy, and takes Islamic courses at SHC. Aisha works at a Women's Daytime Drop in Center, and has her own part-time practice in which she integrates counseling and holistic health. Aisha also received an MA in Public Health/Community Development in 2009 and plans to open a community counseling/resource center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah.

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