In this counseling answer
The questioner fears to lose the pious girl if he doesn’t marry her. The counselor advises him to wait until she takes shahadda and gets more settled as a Muslima before his proposal. Then, If he wants to wait to finish his study and be financially settled, So he tells her that he respect and admire her pious qualities, and he is attracted to her as a possible future wife and that he would like to marry her, If she accepts, make arrangements to go to her family’s home and speak to them about his proposal.
Shokran for writing into us. Alhumdulilah you have found someone whom you feel you are compatible with. I am very happy for you brother! I am a bit confused, however. Forgive me if I misunderstood you but you stated she is studying Islam from Qur’an and hadith, has accepted it and is pondering upon it. Has she taken shahadda yet? If not I would kindly advise that you wait until she takes shahadda and gets more settled as a Muslima before you propose.
I suggest this to ensure that her interest is in Islam and that she truly loves Allah (swt) and believes in her heart that Islam is the true path, true religion. Often times a girl will be intested in Islam because she is ‘in love” with the man who has taught her. By waiting dear brother, you can see whether it is truly Islam she loves or if she is just doing it for you. If she is just doing it for you, it may cause some problems down the line if she truly does not have Islam in her heart and begins to live un-Islamically.This would be a heartbreak for you. Insha’Allah she is truly going to take Shahadda for the sake of Allah (swt) (or she already did) and everything will work out wonderfully for you both.
In regards to your financial situation, there are many cases wherein the students do get married while in school but they often have the support from one or both families until they finish school. In your case, you stated you may choose to wait which is fine too alhumdulilah. In the case of waiting 3-4 years, I would kindly suggest that you inform her of your intent. Simply tell her that you respect and admire her pious qualities, you are attracted to her as a possible future wife, that you feel you both would be compatible and that you would like to marry her. Insha’Allah have a visual plan in your mind as to where and how you will live as it may be a question that comes up.
If she accepts, I would make arrangements to go to her family’s home and speak to them about your proposal. You may want to bring a member of your family as well. It was not clear if her family is Muslim or not, if her family is not Muslim it is still a sign of respect and serious intent. Again, be well prepared to answer questions regarding your ability to take care of her, your way of life as well as your character references from people who know you in the community. Insha’Allah brother everything will go smoothly.
Make duaa to Allah for guidance and encourage her to do the same. We wish you both the best.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.