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Mom Acts Like a Maniac; I Hate Her

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Aug 19, 2018

Question

I want to discuss this issue that I have with my mother. n my childhood, my mother and father never got along. They always had fights and eventually my mother became mentally sick. She used to take drugs prescribed by her psychiatrist.

My brother and I have never got to spend sufficient time with our mother. Firstly, because my mother was a career oriented woman and secondly she used to sleep all day due to her medicines. We never used to get anything to eat. Our father used to get us food from outside. Eventually, my mother decided to leave the house and take me and my brother along with her. But my father stopped. He told my mother that he won’t pay our expenses if they left him and my father cried not to leave him. My mother left and my father dropped us at his sister’s house where we lived.

We have lived away from our mother for 10 years. We used to visit her. She used to live on rent and we used to visit her once a month. This happened for like 2 years then eventually we shifted from my father’s sisters house to a rented one and my mother visited us once or twice every two weeks. Now my mother is demanding to come and stay with us permanently which me and my brother and father don’t want but I fear Allah.

We are really happy without our mother. Due to her life experiences, she has become really over protective and negative. She doesn’t give me space. I am just turning 23 and I am an introvert and I really need space and alone time to process myself and to keep myself sane. I demand my own separate room but she always comes in my room and stays there and then she starts talking negative then starts arguing.

She has this really bad habit of just speaking a lot. I’ve tried telling her that but she doesn’t bother. Plus, she doesn’t keep the house clean because she goes to work. She makes dishes which are tasteless. I don’t like her cooking. I’ve told her many times. My mother is very controlling and really over protective and I do not have any attachment with my mother. I feel happy without her and so does my brother. Whenever she comes the house becomes a living hell.

She asks too many questions and becomes really suspicious. She pounces upon us and secretly spies on us. We both mostly get into fights with our mother. She assumes keeps assuming things. She acts like a total maniac. I don’t know I don’t want to hate her but I can’t help myself. It compromising my mental health. I want to get married as soon as possible so I can get out of this mess. I want to create a bit distance from her. I have always been independent. Please advice, I am depressed.

Counselor

Answer


About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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