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I Love My In-Laws but They Ignore Me

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Jan 21, 2019

Question

I have recently separated from my husband, and my husband has moved back with his family. I have been friends with his parents. I thought I was close to them, now they won't talk to me for any reason. It has really upset me, more than being separated from my husband has.

To give you some background, I married my husband last year. He became very abusive not only towards me but when we lived with his parents, them as well. He was arrested last February for assaulting his mother. My in-laws let me stay with them until my husband was released from jail, then he and I lived elsewhere. After he spent my money, he physically, emotionally, verbally, and sexually abused me on a constant basis, I tried for the last seven months to get him to leave me.

At one point, I attempted suicide to try to get away from him or get him to leave. I filed the papers for divorce finally at the beginning of December. I told him he could stay with me until the divorce was final, but if he got abusive he was going to leave. He tried to abduct me, then later I picked him up off the streets and he tried to do the same again. Now he is at his parents.

During this time that my husband was not living with his parents, I would visit them almost every weekend and talk to them. My mother-in-law always wanted to cook me food and my father-in-law would change the oil in my car. My husband never knew that I went over there. I don't know what he would have done if he knew.

So I thought I had some sort of relationship with them, my mother-in-law at one point told her other son that she hoped he married someone like me, and multiple times she told me she considered me like I was her daughter no matter what. I considered them like my adopted parents. I fear for their safety if he lives over there with them. He has a severe mental illness caused by addiction. He's 31 years old but cannot take care of himself, but he is very paranoid and can get very aggressive very quickly.

I've gone over to their house to give my husband things and they won't talk to me or let me in the house, I tried to give them money tonight that I had owed them and had not gotten the chance to pay them back, they told him that they didn't want it and they refuse to talk to me. I really want to ask my brother and sister in law why, but I think they will react the same way and won't talk to me. They've never really talked to me for beginning with. All I can think of why they won't talk to me is because my dad told them the night my husband refuses to get out of my car, not to contact me because it was stressing me out.

I'm just so confused and heartbroken by their refusal to have anything to do with me. I have no friends or people to talk to. They've been such a positive influence on me, I just don't understand.

Counselor

Answer


I Love My In-Laws but They Ignore Me

Salam Aleikom,

In this counseling video, you will learn:

• Consider the positive interpretation of others’ behavior as well

• Connect with Allah; it makes hard times feel easier

• Join meetings with Muslims

• Join online classes to learn about Islam

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Watch more:

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

 




About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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