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I Feel Attracted to My Former Brother-in-Law

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Mar 20, 2019

Question

This is a problem I have been struggling with for many months. I have noticed that I have developed an attraction to my now former brother in law and I'm not sure how to handle it or what to do or if it's even haram. I have prayed and asked Allah to remove the thoughts and feelings of him from my mind, but the feelings have not gone away, only grown stronger.

I am recently divorced, and my former husband was very, very abusive, but I am still close with my in-laws and have liked them since I met my former mother and father-in-law. They were a little wary of me since I am a revert, but they consider me like their daughter and have been very kind to me and I also consider them like my adopted parents.

I've never met my brother in law at any point in my husband's and my short year-and-a-half long marriage as he works all the time. However, my mother in law has talked about him extensively; from childhood stories to him trying to help my husband (my husband has severe mental illness).

I've seen that he's a very kind and caring person and a good Muslim. The few times I've dealt with him he was very nice to me and complimented me extensively, even so much to tell me that his mother has told him that she hopes he marries someone like me.

I would like to reach out and figure out if this is something I could pursue, but I've sworn to myself to never tell anyone about this attraction because I feared it would be haram, him being my husband’s brother and all.

I don't want to ruin the relationship I still have with my in-laws, but these feelings have become stronger and stronger ever since I got divorced and my mother-in-law has encouraged me to look for another husband (this divorce has been almost a year in the making).

I'm just at a point where I'm afraid to tell anyone how I feel and I'm afraid that the whole idea of this is haram.

Counselor

Answer


I Feel Attracted to My Former Brother-in-Law

In this counseling video, you will learn:

You can technically marry your former brother-in-law.

Do you think your former in-laws would support this marriage? Would this brother be open to this marriage?

Think of this situation from different angles; put aside your emotions for a moment.

The question is whether it is wise, not whether it is halal.

Your abusive ex-husband will always be in the picture.

You might lose this recent, good relationship with your in-laws.

 

Watch more:




About Megan Wyatt

Megan Wyatt is the founder of Wives of Jannah (http://wivesofjannah.com/) where she offers training programs, live workshops, and relationship coaching for wives and couples. She is a certified Strategic Intervention coach with specialized certifications for working with women and marital relationships and has been coaching and mentoring Muslims globally since 2008. She shares her passion for Islamic personal development in her Passionate Imperfectionist community (https://www.facebook.com/CoachMeganWyatt/). She is a wife and homeschooling mother with four children residing in Southern California.

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