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How to Deal with My Husband’s Mid-Life Crisis?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Nov 14, 2017

Question

Salam. Like all marriages there are problems. My marriage has some problems, I was married at a young age and I learned to grow up quickly. I also married a man who came from the Middle East with a strong mentality. He was wanted to be in control and micromanage everything that goes on in our lives. I always told him that life is about making comprises and that we as a married couple should learn to "give and take" when it comes to decision making. But he never seemed to like this reasoning, and always told me that I should listen to him all the time. I don't have a problem with this, as long as it doesn't neglect or disrespect my feelings on a given situation. All this never really seemed to matter to him and he always wanted to be in control. And so this lead to my situation where my husband moved out four months ago. I have been married for 17 years and have 3 children. He didn't tell me any of plans that he was planning on leaving, he told me a day before he left. He wanted to divorce, we lived in a sex less marriage and he would come home late from work and just ignore me most of the time. I would try to make conversation with him, try to prepare meals/dinner but he would usually eat salad. This went on for about a year and I tired to come and talk to him and try to come close to him but to know avail. I felt so disappointed and confused as to why this was happening. I thought and confronted him if he was cheating but he denied completely. He seems to have an inner battle between himself. This is what he told me. Since he has moved out he has gone to 3 psychologists and there was no help. He is now reading psychology and marriage books and he told that the problem is within him. I asked him what is it that you are looking for in a marriage and in a wife? He couldn't give me an answer?? This is making me very confused and upset. I'm not even sure he knows what he really wants??After 17 years and 3 kids I'm feeling lost and confused, please help. Jaza Allah kheir.

Counselor

Answer


How to Deal with My Husband’s Mid-Life Crisis?

As-Salamu ‘ Aleikom,

In this video, you will learn:

Does culture play an important role in marriage?

How to handle a controlling husband?

How to help your husband overcome his mid-life crisis?

Salam,

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Megan Wyatt

Megan Wyatt is the founder of Wives of Jannah (http://wivesofjannah.com/) where she offers training programs, live workshops, and relationship coaching for wives and couples. She is a certified Strategic Intervention coach with specialized certifications for working with women and marital relationships and has been coaching and mentoring Muslims globally since 2008. She shares her passion for Islamic personal development in her Passionate Imperfectionist community (https://www.facebook.com/CoachMeganWyatt/). She is a wife and homeschooling mother with four children residing in Southern California.

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