Q Assalamualaikum.

One morning I woke up in a panic. I was pacing around and terrified wanting to die because of waswas of shaytan (paranoia/whisperings) and it kept getting worse for some time. For a while it would stay this way and I would be depressed.

Shaytan was trying to fill me with doubt and I try my hardest to push it away. But I can only control it for seconds at a time by reciting, but it doesn’t work after some time. I feel like there’s a lump in my heart and I am scared to face it. I feel almost as if Allah has abandoned me or I don’t know if He is testing me.

I don’t know what I did wrong to deserve this. I can only feel happy sometimes when I recite. I do duaa (supplication) nearly every day, read Qur’an, and try my best not to sin. I don’t know what is wrong with me my heart is constantly feeling uneasy and I am terrified that I will die.

I don’t know how to identify this or how to deal with it as I am rarely able to control it. Please help me, thank you.