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Daughter-in-Law Has Brainwashed My Son

05 January, 2017
Q My son’s wife I believe brainwashed my son. We were a very close family up till the day he married this Christian woman. We are a small family. We can hardly visit them, but we got the chance to visit them for two days. When my daughter went to hug his wife, his wife kept her arms to her side. I have sent birthday gifts to the kids, but his wife has given them as if they were from my son and her. Any advice would be appreciated. I have recently just told my son to leave us all alone until he can respect us all. He wanted to come visit by himself for a few hours. His family has been to town and had not even called for us to visit with the children. Her family gets pictures of their children, but we do not get anything. My sister’s son and my son were very close. They grew up like brothers. He no longer keeps conection with him. My son is very successful. He is director of a large company. He is very smart, but no common sense. I have tried everything and am tired of crying. They ignore us.

Answer

Answer:

As-Salamu ‘Aleikom,

First of all, interfaith marriages are definitely challenging in our times. They can be very difficult to navigate. You have talked about how you and your family have made efforts to connect with your daughter-in-law, and you describe your son loosing connection with his own family. Well, I have a couple of questions because probably there’s a lot more background to this story than just a paragraph you submitted.

At the beginning, when your son came to you that he wants to marry this woman who clearly wasn’t a Muslim, and maybe from a different cultural background, how did your family treat her? Were they treating her poorly? Did you give her a proper chance before they got married, or did you just basically rejected her from the beginning, leaving your son feel isolated, so he went ahead with whatever he wanted? I am asking these questions because it doesn’t really make sense that your daughter-in-law, if she was really treated fairly and kindly from the beginning, that she would react this way, unless she has a deeper problem, which we will address…

For the rest of the answer, please watch the video below:

Salam,

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About Karim Serageldin
Karim Serageldin, founder of Noor, completed his BA in psychology & religion, followed by an MA in east-west psychology with a specialization in spiritual counseling. He is a certified life coach with years of teaching and community outreach experience. His practical work and research includes developing a modern framework of Islamic psychology, relationship, family and youth coaching. He provides seminars and workshops in the United States. You can contact Br. Karim at: http://www.noorhumanconsulting.com or facebook.com/noorhumanconsulting