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I Can No Longer Live with My In-Laws

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Jun 20, 2018

Question

Salam Aleikom.

I have previously written into this service and found it most helpful, alhamdulillah. My current situation is: my husband is unwilling to move out of his family home whom he shares with his four brothers and a sister in law and two children from his eldest brother’s marriage.

I have many concerns about living in such a home. I have lived alone for the most part of my life and living with in-laws have been a huge adjustment and I still don’t feel as though I am at home. This is affecting my mental health and my working capability due to all the stress it’s causing. I do not feel I have a marriage as I do not feel free with my husband.

I have my own flat which he refuses to move into purely because he “does not want too” and this is the only reason he gives me when I discuss this as an option. I have urged him to think about our marriage and what could better it. I feel a woman makes a home there cannot be more than one woman controlling a house. I have said if I am not comfortable and this takes a toll on my health then I am in no shape to be a good wife, a mother inshallah and also just a functional human as I have had to time off work with stress.

I want a stable home with my husband where I can raise my children inshallah. I want to have a baby but only when we are ready emotionally and I cannot say that we are.

He has said he doesn’t want me, he has said I am pressurizing him to move out and he will never do this for me. He wants to leave me instead. He has said many awful things about me and I just don’t know what else I can do. I do not want to suffer in a house i feel uncomfortable with so many people. I want a marriage.

Please advise.

Counselor

Answer


I Can No Longer Live with My In-Laws

Salam Aleikom,

In this counseling video, you will learn:

The possible reasons why a husband does not want to move away from his parents’ home

What a wife can do to feel comfortable in such a situation

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Watch more:

 

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

 




About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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