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“And We Created You in Pairs”; How Does This Explain Failed Marriages?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Dec 25, 2018

Question

I believe that life, death, and marriage are pre-destined by Allah for every human being. I was not interested in getting married anytime soon.

However, I met a suitor through a family arrangement and immediately felt an irrevocable magnetism towards him. His qualifications, lifestyle, and attributes were the polar opposite of what I always admired. But my belief that this is my suitor was so strong that it surpassed every adversity. We got married within a very short period of time, only to realize how incompatible we were.

He was a disbeliever with deplorable habits and lifestyle. So within 2 years of our marriage, we got divorced. It was an extremely ungraceful affair for me, as they made the divorce extremely disrespectful towards me. They showed me no respect or grace during this time and denied me my Mehr and demanded that I return all the jewelry provided by them during the wedding. All the jewelry was worth more than my Mehr, they said.

We have an infant baby. He is staying with me now as legally allowed till he is 7 years of age. They say they will take him away after that. As hurtful as that is for me to accept, I seek justice for myself as a wife and a mother. I have submitted myself to both the roles, only to be treated with disrespect.

Do I want to know if this was it in my destiny? When Allah says "And We Created You In Pairs", was I paired with that deplorable man, only to end up as a divorcee? I cannot validate in my mind any other reason other than the force of destiny for me to ignore all the red signs before jumping into this marriage. I am in need of Islamic advice and counsel.

Counselor

Answer


"And We Created You in Pairs"; How Does This Explain Failed Marriages?

In this counseling video, you will learn:

• We are responsible for our choices

• Do not ignore the red flags

• Chemical attraction cannot be the only factor you base your marriage on

• Look for common values and believes

• Learn from your mistakes

• Marriage and divorce are parts of the reality of life

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.




About Megan Wyatt

Megan Wyatt is the founder of Wives of Jannah (http://wivesofjannah.com/) where she offers training programs, live workshops, and relationship coaching for wives and couples. She is a certified Strategic Intervention coach with specialized certifications for working with women and marital relationships and has been coaching and mentoring Muslims globally since 2008. She shares her passion for Islamic personal development in her Passionate Imperfectionist community (https://www.facebook.com/CoachMeganWyatt/). She is a wife and homeschooling mother with four children residing in Southern California.

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