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A Guy Betrayed Me; I Cannot Move On

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Sep 18, 2018

Question

Assalam o alikum. I fell in love with a guy online. We were in the same country, so I told him to come to see me from far instead of sending him pictures. He saw me in the real life, but before seeing and talking to me on the phone, he proposed to me by text message. I accepted it as well. When he saw me, we both were satisfied and was ready for marriage.

I used to fight with him to send his mum to my home for a proposal, but he kept delaying it by saying that his mum wanted to see my picture first. After a long fight about sending pics, in the end, I sent one. The moment I sent it, he was shocked and said to me “you look strange.” He started ignoring me. He wanted to finish our relationship. Our relationship lasted for only 9-10 months, but even after he left me, he kept stalking me.

He betrayed me. He always said that his mum wouldn’t agree to our marriage. However, he never gave me any clear statement that we cannot get married.

I am not beautiful. I always had this complex in me that I am not that beautiful. I knew he would not like me, that is why I did not want to send him a picture.

It’s been 4 years now, but I can’t forget him. My feelings are still the same towards him. I just learned that he got married last December. I cannot accept this. I cannot forget him. I cannot find peace. I contacted him. He wrote me back but then ignored me. Then after months, he contacted me again saying that he still loves me. His marriage was an arranged marriage, not love marriage. He said he could not love his wife as he loved me. But these are just words. I just want to forget him and move on. Please, help me!

Counselor

Answer


A Guy Betrayed Me; I Cannot Move On

Salam Aleikom,

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About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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