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My Parents Don’t Talk to Each Other

Questioner

S

Reply Date

Oct 15, 2018

Question

Salam. I would really like some advice on a problem I am facing. My parents about a week ago got into a bad verbal argument over an issue and it escalated really fast. My mom began to bring in past events relating to her in-laws (according to her they don't treat her well so she doesn't like them). My dad got really angry as well and began shouting. It continued for about an hour. Since then they both have not spoken a word to each other.

What really worries me is that my family has an airplane trip coming up in a few months that I have been looking forward to, and I am getting hints from the way my parents are talking to me that they do not wish to go anymore. I have tried praying to Allah, removing myself from worldly things such as not listening to music and not watching movies. However, nothing has worked and it's been more than a week now. I'm beginning to lose hope because it seems that this will go on forever. It really hurts me to see them doing this. Please advise me what I should do in Sha' Allah. JazakAllah Khair.

Counselor

Answer


My Parents Don't Talk to Each Other

In this counseling answer:

“Your role is to continue to be a good son and help them when they ask and keep praying for Allah (swt) to unite their hearts. Your efforts to become a better Muslim are a beautiful approach and know that God is Most Generous and this will not be unmet with the return from God.”


As-Salaam ’Alaikum brother,

Firstly, it is very sweet of you to have such concerns for your parent’s well being. I understand it is not easy to see them in a rough patch. However, there are few things you should understand young man:

Couples will tend to disagree and it is quite normal for conflicts to arise from time to time between married folks. This does not mean they do not love each other or that they do not love you. A marriage is a relationship between two people with love, common ground, and differences. From time to time, differences turn into conflicts and with humility, sincerity, and communication any problem between two people can be solved. In sha’ Allah they will work it out on their own and you should not feel responsible for their affairs.

Your role is to continue to be a good son and help them when they ask and keep praying for Allah (swt) to unite their hearts. Your efforts to become a better Muslim are a beautiful approach and know that God is Most Generous and this will not be unmet with the return from God.


Check out this counseling video:


Your parents will probably not stop “talking forever” because this rarely happens in a marriage. I believe you are extra sensitive to them getting along because you are worried about the upcoming family trip. Be aware that just as you would like the trip to go smoothly, I am sure your parents feel the same thing and will work things out beforehand in sha’ Allah.

A few months are a long time, and if the trip is already set, it is likely that it will happen. If not, always remember that Allah (swt) knows best. Sometimes things do not happen because Allah (swt) is protecting us from harm. Be patient, continue to be a good person and son and watch and see what happens.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

My Parents Always Fight

The Effects of a Poor Father-Daughter Relationship

Youth Marriage – How Far Parents Shall Be Involved?

 




About Karim Serageldin

Karim Serageldin, founder of Noor, completed his BA in psychology & religion, followed by an MA in east-west psychology with a specialization in spiritual counseling. He is a certified life coach with years of teaching and community outreach experience. His practical work and research includes developing a modern framework of Islamic psychology, relationship, family and youth coaching. He provides seminars and workshops in the United States. You can contact Br. Karim at: http://www.noorhumanconsulting.com or facebook.com/noorhumanconsulting

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