I Feel So Much Jealous of Pilgrims | About Islam
Home > Ask the Counselor > The Family Home > I Feel So Much Jealous of Pilgrims

I Feel So Much Jealous of Pilgrims

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Aug 10, 2018

Question

Salam Aleikom dear counselor. I wish to perform Hajj inshallah. I feel really jealous of people who have got the opportunity. Every year, it makes me feel so sad that I am still not able to save enough money to go to Hajj. What makes it even worse is my uncle - the only person in my family who has done Hajj already. He loves boasting about it and enjoys when people ask him about his Hajj experience or use the title "hajji"when they refer to him. What can I do with him and my feeling of jealousy? Thank you!

Counselor

Answer


I Feel So Much Jealous of Pilgrims

In this counseling answer:

• While we are all humans who get jealous at times, it is something we should strive to overcome.

• Think and speak in the positive.

• Make du’aa’ to Allah (swt) to remove the feeling of jealousy, increase your wealth so you are able to make Hajj, and, in sha’ Allah, help you find joy in your Muslim brothers and sisters who have been able to make Hajj.


As-Salamu ‘Alaikum,

The desire to make Hajj is in the heart of all Muslims. Sadly, not all Muslims can afford to make Hajj, so you are not alone. While that does not change the way you feel, it is, indeed, normal amongst Muslims who cannot thus far make Hajj.

I would kindly suggest that, in sha’ Allah, you make du’aa’ to Allah (swt) that He (swt) make it possible for you to someday make Hajj. As you have not been able to make Hajj yet, there is nothing in your future that says you never will. Only Allah (swt) knows, and Allah (swt) is most merciful to His servants.

I would kindly suggest that you think and speak in the positive. When you speak of Hajj, state that in sha’ Allah you too are looking forward to going. Try to get with other Muslims who are in a similar situation and develop a plan of action for the future in which, as a small group, you can save up money and go to Hajj. Check out Hajj opportunities at Islamic centers and Masjids to compare prices and options. You may be surprised at discounts you may get in groups.

As far as your uncle is concerned, it is natural that he is happy and he gets excited when he talks about his Hajj experience. However, if he is, indeed, boastful, that is not a good thing. Allah (swt) does not like boasting. Perhaps, this is also a test for you concerning patience and trust in Allah (swt) as well as learning not to be a jealous person as jealousy is as despised by Allah (swt) as is boasting.

While we are all humans who get jealous at times, it is something we should strive to overcome. Perhaps, if you listen to others who have made Hajj, and, instead of feeling jealous, you develop a feeling of love and happiness for them, you may reap the blessings of Hajj sooner. As a test, this is a difficult one to overcome! Our love for Allah (swt) is so immense, and we do crave to make Hajj as others have done. However, if we cannot feel true joy and happiness for those who have had this blessing, how will we handle the blessing when it comes to us going? Would we become boastful? Would we want others to be jealous of us and harbor negative thoughts? We should want for our brothers and sisters what we want for ourselves. This includes opportunities to make Hajj.

Thus, I kindly recommend you make du’aa’ to Allah (swt) to remove the feeling of jealousy, increase your wealth so you are able to make Hajj, and, in sha’ Allah, help you find joy in your Muslim brothers and sisters who have been able to make Hajj. These things will bring you closer to Allah (swt) and, in sha’ Allah, to making Hajj one day soon.

We wish you the best,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

4 Questions and Answers About Ihram

5 Questions About Hajj and `Umrah

How to Deal with Jealousy and Envy?




About Aisha Mohammad-Swan

Aisha Mohammad-Swan received her PhD in psychology in 2000. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York with a focus on PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, and Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. She is currently studying for her certification in Islamic Chaplaincy, and takes Islamic courses at SHC. Aisha works at a Women's Daytime Drop in Center, and has her own part-time practice in which she integrates counseling and holistic health. Aisha also received an MA in Public Health/Community Development in 2009 and plans to open a community counseling/resource center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah.

find out more!