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Anger Drives Me Crazy in Ramadan

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Jun 01, 2018

Question

I need your advice regarding my hot temper. Since my teenage years, I have a had a problem with hot temper. On occassions, I get so angry that I begin to say things I later regret. For example, while driving, I have the tendency to roll down my window and yell at other drivers. I have become extremly concerned about my behavior, especially now during Ramadan. People have told me that by loosing my temper I am invalidating my fast. I have begun visiting the mosque frequently and spending time with other brothers and it has helped a little bit. But what else can you recommend? Please help!

Counselor

Answer


Anger Drives Me Crazy in Ramadan

In this counseling service:

There are many anger management tips, including two very powerful advice from Prophet Muhammad (saw): when standing, sit down, when sitting, then lie down and seek refuge in Allah (swt). In Ramadan, in particular, do not argue, just say: “I’m fasting.”


Wa ‘Aleikom Salam,

There are actually many books, courses, and seminars that help people deal with their anger. However, these anger management tips will never be able to parallel the advice of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw). He has advised us to control our anger and recommended a series of actions to help us overcome the inclination to become angry.

First, if one is standing, one should sit down. If you find yourself becoming angry about something and you are standing up, break the sequence of events and sit down instead of remaining standing.

Seek refuge in Allah and also try to put into perspective what it is you are getting angry about before saying anything.

Second, if we are sitting and we become angry, we are to lie down. It is also recommended that we make wudu’ as this will help us to move away from the place of anger and freshen up.

You want to try your best to think before you speak or react. It seems that your thinking time is quite short and this leaves very little time between experiencing a certain phenomenon and immediately reacting. It might sound a cliché, but one of the best exercises for this is to count until ten before saying something. Try it!

In Ramadan, especially, we suggest that you take advantage of another practice of the Prophet Muhammad (saw). If someone makes you angry, do not argue with them or fight with them but say to them instead, “I am fasting.” (An-Nasa’i) Seek forgiveness for yourself and seek the protection of Allah (SWT) in keeping your anger under control.

You must do everything possible to control your anger while you are driving. You will not only affect your ability to think clearly, but you will also be giving a bad impression of Muslims if you mistreat other drivers on the road. What’s the worst problem they can cause you? Perhaps they might make you a few minutes late or startle you with a sudden lane change. While that bad driver is long gone, you will still be upset and that helps no one.

Finally, you might also want to have a physical check-up as there may be some physiological problems associated with your hot temper such as high blood pressure, for example.

 

In sha’Allah, this helps. And Allah knows best.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

How to Control Anger

If Islam Gives Inner Peace, Why Are Muslims So Angry?

3 Tips to Control Anger




About Dr. Abdullah Abdur Rahman

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