In this counseling answer:
• Ask Allah to forgive you for your haram behavior. Repent and promise yourself that you will not have anything more to do with this boy.
• It is his responsibility and his family’s responsibility to ensure that he does not fall into depression.
As-Salaamu Alaykum sister,
Thank you for writing to us. As I understand it, you’re currently in a haram relationship. You stated that you know this is wrong and that you were going to try to break it off. You mentioned that you feel scared because he genuinely loves you. You also acknowledged that you can’t marry him as he is not Muslim.
Based on what you have said, it seems you do have insight into this situation. From your question, I see that you are afraid to break up with him as he may fall back into depression and you don’t want that.
Sister, the thing that really stands out to me is that you are engaging in a haram relationship which is compromising your relationship with Allah. You are a Muslim, he’s not. Therefore, my dear sister, you know you can’t marry him because he’s not Muslim. So, why would you even want to go there?
You state that you pray and make duaa to Allah to make it easy for you to break up with him and to lead you to the straight path again. This shows that you love Allah and seek to please Him, alhumdulilah.
Please, ask Allah to forgive you for your haram behavior. Repent and promise yourself that you will not have anything more to do with this boy. May Allah make it easy for you.
Regarding him falling back into depression, this is not your responsibility, nor your burden to carry. Yes, we care about people, but as you are not married to him nor are you even supposed to be a friend of his, this is not your responsibility.
It is his responsibility and his family’s responsibility to ensure that he does not fall into depression. At 17 years old, you should be focusing on school, your future career goals, family, and Islam. Those are your responsibilities at this point in your life.
Sister, I completely understand that you feel emotionally attached to him as you did get close to him. These are natural feelings and they’re normal. However, as you went about it in the wrong way and because he is not Muslim, you are best advised to leave the situation alone. It will be hard, yes, but the blessings in the rewards will be worth it.
Regarding his parents, if there’s a chance that his parents will tell your parents, then I highly advise you insha’Allah to inform your parents first before they do. It will not be comfortable or easy. In fact, it may come with some repercussions. However, it will be worse if they find out first from the boy’s parents and not from you. May Allah make this easy for you.
Stay Close to Allah
Sister, keep praying to Allah. We all sin, we all fall short and that is why we need Allah. Allah is most merciful and most forgiving, but we have to want to stop doing haram things. We have to want to strive to be better Muslims, which I’m sure you do. Never doubt Allah’s mercy,
Allah loves you, sister, and wants you to be on the right path and have a happy life. You have made a mistake and your emotions got involved. This is common, sister, you are not the first nor will you be the last.
Please do learn from this and guard your heart and guard your Islam. There are many blessings to come, insha’Allah, when we follow Allah’s commands.
We wish you the best,
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