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I Like a Girl; What Shall I Do?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Aug 06, 2018

Question

I like a girl at my college, but I have not told her this. But she knows it. Now I am graduated and left the college while she is studying in the same college. What should do?

Counselor

Answer


I Like a Girl; What Shall I Do?

In this counseling answer:

• Inform her that you and your family would like to meet with her family to arrange a halal way in which the two of you can get to know one another for the purposes of marriage.

• The only way to know what the outcome may be, brother, is to ask.


As Salaam Alaykum brother,

Thank you for writing to us.  As I understand your question, you met a girl when you were in college whom you liked.  You stated you did not tell her you liked her but indicated that she knew you liked her.  I am wondering dear brother, how did she know you liked her?  Often times brothers may think a girl knows they like her when in reality she does not.  This may make the brother feel she is not responding and he may give up.  The first thing to do is to inquire about her possible interest.

Expressing Interest 

Currently, you have graduated and left the college but she is now in the college you left and you still like her.  Brother, I would kindly suggest that you express your interest to this girl to see if she is available, interested as well as ready to marry.  From this point, you will know where you stand in regards to a possible marriage.  If she is interested, I kindly suggest that you inform her that you and your family would like to meet with her family to arrange a halal way in which the two of you can get to know one another for the purposes of marriage.  Insha’Allah this will bring the two families together in a good friendship so everyone may get to know one another in a meaningful and halal way.

Family Support

If she agrees, please inform your parents of your plans to get to know her for the purposes of marriage.  Ask your parents to be involved in your process and decision as this shows respect and honor.  Insha’Allah your parents will agree to assist you through this process.

The only way to know what the outcome may be, brother, is to ask.  Please do take the steps necessary to inquire about your interest in marriage.  Insha’allah it will work out wonderfully for you and you will be on your way to a beautiful marriage in the near future!

Please let us know how things went, you are in our prayers.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

Does Love Exist in Islam?

Falling in Love When Young: Allowed?

Finding the Love of Your Life




About Aisha Mohammad-Swan

Aisha Mohammad-Swan received her PhD in psychology in 2000. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York with a focus on PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, and Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. She is currently studying for her certification in Islamic Chaplaincy, and takes Islamic courses at SHC. Aisha works at a Women's Daytime Drop in Center, and has her own part-time practice in which she integrates counseling and holistic health. Aisha also received an MA in Public Health/Community Development in 2009 and plans to open a community counseling/resource center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah.

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