In this counseling answer:
• Don’t have to take everything you dream about so seriously.
• Surround yourself with a people who care about you and love you.
• Time heals all wounds.
I appreciate that you have approached us. I will try my best to advise you the best I can, InshaAllah.
I am glad to hear that you realized having a boyfriend is wrong and not allowed in Islam. You did exactly what you should be doing by breaking up with him.
We are humans, and we make mistakes. However, it is important to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them again.
You are in control of your actions, but your dreams are representations of our subconscious. Thus, it’s not always easy to block them out.
It is normal to have dreams about a person you have feelings for. However, the dreams don’t always indicate that you are not over that person.
Your dreams are not always the real mirror of your inner reality.
So, you don’t have to take everything you dream about so seriously.
Kissing in a dream, or have a desire to do so, doesn’t mean you love or have a feeling for that person. The psychologist Mac Rodrigues thinks that the act of kiss in a dream represents the need to feel love or be loved.
You might feel lonely after breaking up with your ex. Loneliness can sometimes give a feeling of being unloved and unwanted. So, if you dream of your ex, he can be a reference point because he meant something to you before, and that’s why you see him.
You should surround yourself with a people who care about you and love you, such as your family and close friends.
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Remember, dreams are symbols. They have more to do with what is going on in your life now than what happened before.
Sometimes, it is hard it takes time to get over somebody you invested so much time and feelings in. This is why you have to remember to maintain a good self-esteem and keep yourself busy with activities that can distract you from over thinking.
You made the right decision to leave him.
You should be proud of yourself. It can be hard to break up when you have developed such a strong emotional bond with someone. But you knew it was wrong to be involved romantically with him and stopped.
However, if you are regretting and repenting, Allah will forgive you, inshallah. Ask for Allah’s guidance and support. He will help you through this, as Allah has said:
’’O son of Adam, as long as you supplicate to me and have hope in Me, I will forgive you whatever the sin be and I will not bother. O son of Adam, if your sins reach the clouds in the sky and you seek forgiveness, I will forgive you and I will not bother. O son of Adam, if you come to Me with so many sins that they fill the earth, and you meed me without having ascribed partners to Me, I will forgive you with the same great amount of forgiveness.’’(Tirmithi)
So, in Islam, you will be forgiven for your sins, if you repent. Allah is very merciful.
Try to forget your past. Do not talk to anyone about it as it should not have any place in your present life and the future.
I know it is easy to say, but remember, it takes time to get over people. However, it doesn’t mean you cannot do it.
Time heals all wounds.
You just have to keep yourself occupied with healthy and halal activities.
Read more educational books, offer prayers, read the Qur’an, spend time with family and good people who are a positive influence, engage yourself in things that interest you such as sports or walking etc.
Try to not be alone too much. It can lead to over thinking.
Keep your mind busy with things you want to think about. This will slowly but surely make room in your dreams rather than things you want to forget.
Do not think too much about these dreams about your ex. They are not important and shouldn’t be important to take up so much of your time and energy.
Your main focus should always be how to ignore these dreams and work on yourself to become a better Muslim. You are still very young and I am sure you will have a fantastic future ahead with a very loving and caring husband, Inshallah.
May Allah give you peace of mind and guide you to the right path,
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.