In this counseling answer:
“Married couples do argue, but these things are not supposed to be done publicly, even in front of family and children because of the very reason you are presenting here. Often parents don’t realize how their own behavior affects the lives of their children. If there is a quiet moment in the house, try and utilize the opportunity to talk to them about how you feel about their arguing.”
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum dear brother,
Sorry to read about your difficult situation at present. May Allah reward your patience and steadfastness during these pressing times. It is pleasing that you are still able to maintain your Islamic obligations and are content with accepting Allah’s Will whilst still maintaining hope that you can pick up on your studies again at a later date when you are in a more comfortable situation.
Whilst on the surface it is a very testing situation to be in, keep in mind all the important things that Islam teaches us about enduring trials. You will be able to see your situation on a whole new and enlightening level that, in sha’ Allah, will continue to feed you with hope for your future in both this life and the next.
It is unfortunate that your parents argue in the way they do and even more so that you are the one who suffers the most. It is only natural that as a result you will feel depressed and experience things such as forgetfulness.
Although you cannot interfere in any arguments they have as it is their business, it might be a good idea to talk to them, either together or separately, depending on which you feel more comfortable with, and let them know how their fighting affects you.
Married couples do argue, but these things are not supposed to be done publicly, even in front of family and children because of the very reason you are presenting here. Often parents don’t realize how their own behavior affects the lives of their children. If there is a quiet moment in the house, try and utilize the opportunity to talk to them about how you feel about their arguing. Do remember that during this conversation, it is not your responsibility to get involved in why they are arguing, but to simply make them aware of how affects you. Help them understand how you feel.
Beyond this, it seems that their fighting has already had a very profound effect on your daily life, but this is not your fault. You should not feel like the one to blame for someone else’s problems, even your parents’. What you can do, however, is taking this as your test from Allah and benefit from it. Allah has told us about the many rewards of the remaining patient in times of adversity like you have.
Firstly, let us remember the trials the Prophet and the first Muslims endured, far greater than the ones we face today. Allah loved His Prophets very much, yet still, He tested them to this level. Allah also tells us that He does not test someone beyond what they can bear so He knows that you are strong enough to endure this.
Furthermore, the Prophet also tells us that enduring trials as small as the prick of a thorn will expiate for sins. Allah loves you so much that He has put you in a situation He knows you are strong enough to endure. In addition, it will allow for the expiration of any sins you may have committed.
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So, despite the fact that the situation is tough, there are many rewards in endurance. It also gives you a chance to show your love to Allah and, ma sha’Allah brother, it sounds like you are doing a great job in this.
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2:286)
The Prophet (saw) said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)
On a more practical level, when we face tough times at the hands of others’ attitudes, we can often get too caught up in our feelings towards them and neglect ourselves. So, amongst all this, remember to take care of yourself. Take care of your soul spiritually by praying, reading Quran, and make dhikr and du’aa’, as you do alhamdulillah, but also eat well, exercise, and live a social life, too. Spending time with friends will give you some space away from your troubles at home.
Continue what you’re doing; watch motivational videos and spend time with good friends. You’re on the right track; it just takes time to look at your situation from a different and more positive angle. These things I mentioned will make it easier for you to move forward successfully, in sha’ Allah.
May Allah reward your patience with your situation and continue to give you the strength to continue. May your faith in Him makes it easier to have hope for a brighter future.
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