I am surely suffering from OCD. I fail to understand why I get obsessed with people, and this ruins my life and the relation. In the past I intended to marry a guy, but I got so obsessed with him that it ruined everything. At that time, I could not realize it was an obsession.
Later, I got close to Allah and developed a fear of getting married or loving someone for this might hamper my relation with God.
Last year, I came across a guy and we were about to get married. But again I got obsessed with him, and it ruined everything. I didn't tell him about my previous relationships and how my OCD ruined it as he would not able to understand my situation and would just instead criticize me.
I want to get over this; like this, I can never get married. I want to love Allah above all and His Messenger (peace be upon him), but I don't want this problem to spoil my life either. May Allah help me.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
- Symptoms of OCD can be a result of Shaytan’s whispers.
- Keeping in mind that Allah (swt) actually tells us to get married, you should not be afraid to move forward with this.
- Keep yourself busy in acts of worship, and keep Allah (swt) in mind in everything you do.
- A good spouse will love you for the sake of Allah (swt). A spouse will only encourage you to get closer to Allah (swt) and support you in this, and will understand your problems and support you in getting through them.
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum dear sister,
Indeed, OCD or symptoms of OCD, regardless of if there is an actual diagnosis of OCD, can be very distressing when they begin to impact on important areas of a person’s life.
OCD
It is often said that symptoms of OCD can be a result of Shaytan’s whispers. We know that, from an Islamic perspective, we are encouraged to marry for a multitude of reasons. It can bring us closer to Allah (swt), bring us happiness, and obviously it is the only halal way of increasing the Muslim population.
Shaytan does not like this and will do all he can to prevent it. Whether by interfering in a happy marriage or even stopping someone from desiring to marry in the first place.
Check out this counseling video:
Think of Allah
In this case, the best way to start would be to always be cautious to protect yourself from Shaytan and his whispers. This is done simply by bringing Allah (swt) to mind as often as possible. Ask for Allah’s (swt) protection. Keep yourself busy in acts of worship. And keep Allah (swt) in mind in everything you do. So that you do not even give Shaytan the space to influence your thoughts and decisions.
Keeping busy in remembrance of Allah (swt) will allow you to ignore any obsessive thoughts you might have. Therefore, you will be less inclined to give them the time.
If it is, indeed, the whispers of Shaytan, then he will tire of trying to influence you as he realizes that his whispers are fruitless and having no effect on your behavior. So, he will leave you alone and not put such intrusive thoughts into your mind anymore.
Marriage
Actually, moving forward with a marriage will further reinforce the fact that such thoughts are not getting to you and are not deterring you from doing what you want to do in following Allah’s (swt) instructions.
Keeping in mind that Allah (swt) actually tells us to get married, you should not be afraid to move forward with this. It is a way of expressing our love for Him (swt) as we follow his instructions to us. If you marry a good spouse, it should in no way hamper your relationship with Allah (swt). And should, in fact, do quite the opposite.
Conclusion
A good spouse will love you for the sake of Allah (swt) and, therefore, will only encourage you to get closer to Allah (swt) and support you in this. And will understand your problems and support you in getting through them.
May Allah (swt) make it easy for you to overcome these obsessive thoughts and move forward in pursuing marriage and finding happiness and contentment in it.
Salam,
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