I feel very guilty about all this and feel I have let down my family - my wonderful wife and 2 small kids. I try and concentrate on my prayers, but even there while praying I am just thinking about my health problems and eventual death. I really feel miserable and hope there is some way out for me. Jazak Allah khair.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Examine what steps and changes you need to make to have a healthier life. These steps should include going to the doctor, getting the proper medical care you need to improve your health so that you can be there for your wife and kids in the future and Allah knows best.
• Focus on building a personal relationship with Allah.
• Channel this love and desire that you have to not let down your family and consider how you can build upon and maintain this same love for the creator and desire not to disobey the creator.
• The fact that you have severe hypochondria means that you require medical attention on a regular basis.
As-Salaamu `Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,
It seems that you are experiencing a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety surrounding your health and death. It also seems that you are experiencing a tremendous amount of anxiety about going to the doctor for fear that they will examine you and say that you have some type of terminal illness. You stated: “They will reprimand me for my bad habits. I feel very guilty about all of this and I feel I have let down my family and wonderful wife and two small kids”.
Your statements alone show that you have a tremendous amount of love for your family. Your statements also show that instead of letting your family down you will stop at nothing to avoid letting them down.
Build upon this love that you have for your family and contemplate on this love. Channel this love and desire that you have to not let down your family and consider how you can build upon and maintain this same love for the creator and desire not to disobey the creator. A way of not disobeying Allah is by maintaining your health. One should also not disobey Allah by doing things that one knows can kill them or cause a terminal disease and kill them.
Examine what steps and changes you need to make to have a healthier life. These steps should include going to the doctor, getting the proper medical care you need to improve your health so that you can be there for your wife and kids in the future and Allah knows best. Focus on building a personal relationship with Allah.
Ask yourself several questions. Why am I feeling guilty? Why do I feel miserable? What am I doing when I am in a moment where I am feeling miserable? What lifestyle changes do I need to make so that I will not feel miserable? I would encourage you to consult with a doctor in your area as soon as you can. Remember, that Allah is merciful and always provides a way out. Allah says in the Quran:
“Say: ‘O Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against your own souls: do not despair of Allah’s mercy, for Allah forgives all sins. It is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (39:53)
As one can see, from this verse there is always hope and there is always an opportunity for a way out. As human beings, we can reach the lowest points in life and rise above it all and redeem ourselves through building our personal relationship with Allah.
Check out this counseling video:
The fact that you have severe hypochondria means that you require medical attention on a regular basis. You mentioned that you are experiencing chronic pain due to your condition. Always be aware that the physical pain that you are experiencing has a direct effect on your emotional and psychological well-being. Receiving the proper medical attention will help you in addressing the guilt and anxiety surrounding your fear of illness and dying.
May Allah heal you and make the challenges of your illness easier to bear.
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