In this counseling answer:
• Continue to pray to Allah to ease your situation.
• You have every right to divorce her for what she has done. But you also have the option to forgive if you feel you can.
• If you choose to leave, be prepared for some difficulty in adjusting to a new life.
Assalamu alaikum Wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh,
When a marriage faces such a betrayal like this, it can be difficult to know what to do. Do you forgive and move on with the one you love so dearly, or do you part ways for fear you will never recover from the betrayal and it will affect your marriage forever.
In this case, you have every right to divorce her for what she has done. But you also have the option to forgive if you feel you can. What she has done is a grave sin, but it is also good to practice forgiveness as we pray for Allah’s forgiveness for other sins we commit. However, that does not mean you have to, especially since she has done this before in the past. This is going to cause serious trust issues for you as you feel that she may have the potential to do mot again.
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Talk to Her about It
Once you are feeling calmer and less emotionally disturbed it would be a good idea to talk to her about it. Give her the chance to apologize. You will be able to feel for yourself she is genuine in her apology.
If you choose to stay, it will be a challenge to build the trust that has been broken again. If you make this choice, you must be prepared to trust her again if your relationship is to succeed. If you don’t feel like you could ever trust her again, then your marriage will have a hard time working out.
If you choose to leave, be prepared for some difficulty in adjusting to a new life. Seek support from your loved ones in order to ease the emotional burden that you may face.
Either way, make sure to take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well and exercise and do things that you enjoy. Staying or leaving will likely come with some kind of emotional turmoil or other, so protect your own well being as a means of taking care of your psychological wellbeing.
Seek Marriage Counseling
In order to make this process easier, you might consider marriage counseling. This serves a couple of purposes. Firstly, it will provide you both the opportunity to share your feelings in an open space free from judgment. If done with an imam, he will also be able to guide you according to Islamic values. It will give you the space to get everything out in the open in a controlled environment. It will also give you the chance to try everything to make it work. This way, if you choose to leave then you can be confident that you are doing the right thing as you have done all you can to make it work before ultimately bringing it to an end.
Alongside all this, considering it is a very important decision to make, continue to pray to Allah to ease your situation. Additionally, you can pray istikhara for Allah to guide you to make the best decision for both you and your wife that will be most pleasing to Him. If your marriage is meant to continue, He will guide you to make it work and if not He will make it easy for you to walk away.
May Allah guide you to make the best decision. May He make everything happen easily for you with the least emotional turmoil.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.