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Wife Threatens to Commit Suicide; Shall I Divoce Her?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Feb 18, 2019

Question

Asalam alikum.

I want to divorce my wife. I don’t feel any interest in her now. I have a daughter from her.

Actually, it all started with arguments with my mother and wife. Both have mistakes, but the problem with my wife is that she shouts and doesn’t have control over her emotions. She threatened me of committing suicide and poisoning my daughter. She beat me in anger in front of her mother, grandmother and sister. She wanted to live separately.

I am an only son, I can’t leave my ailing mother and father. I don’t trust my wife, I am confident now she is suffering from a psychological issue. I offered her to seek the help of a counselor, but she refuses. I feel alone. I am only worried about my daughter, but I feel I can’t continue this relationship. I want to give every happiness to my daughter but I am afraid that I can’t give her this right if her parents live together.

I used to support my wife but her behavior is not acceptable. I am also worried about her mental condition as she said she will commit suicide. What shall I do?

Counselor

Answer


Wife Threatens to Commit Suicide; Shall I Divoce Her?

In this counseling answer:

• Seek the services of a lawyer as well as your imam at the Masjid to assist you in either separation and/or divorce.

• I would kindly advise you to call 911 should she have another outburst.


As Salamu Alaykum brother,

Thank you for writing to us. I am truly sorry for all you have been going through with your wife, may Allah grant you ease and mercy in this situation.

karim serageldin & naaila clay

Given all she has done (the abuse, the poisoning of your child, the outrageous temper, and general instability) you have every right to divorce, brother.

It seems you have been going through this for some time now and you have done all that you can. You even tried to get your wife to go to counseling (which she desperately needs) many times and she refused.

As your wife refuses to get help, it is incumbent upon you as a father, a son and a Muslim to ensure your family is safe. As it is now, no one is safe.


Check out this counseling video:


I would kindly advise you to seek the services of a lawyer as well as your imam at the Masjid to assist you in either separation and/or divorce. As she is violent and tried to poison your daughter, she could also be arrested. This is horrific. She needs to leave the home immediately before someone ends up dead. She probably is suffering from a mental illness as you suspect. I would kindly advise you to call 911 should she have another outburst.

I understand that you want your child to have a two parent home brother, but at what price? Hell? Your daughter will likely be severely injured both physically and psychologically should your wife remain in the home.

Perhaps your family doctor can get a 5150 (involuntary psychiatric hospital admittance) due to the severity of the situation. Please forgive me for not knowing the options in your country. However, insha’Allah they may be similar.

Please, insha’Allah, get help now to remove her from the home. You are in our prayers brother. Please let us know how you and your daughter are doing. May Allah protect you and your family.

Amen,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

Troubled First Marriage; I Want a Second Wife

She is Threatening Me: Shall I Marry Her?

I Realized My New Wife Has a Mental Illness




About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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