In this counseling answer:
“Telling your husband more details about your past will only make things worse. Do not share any more about it, especially if you feel God has forgiven you and brought you closer through this journey.”
As-Salaaamu ’Alaykum sister,
May God increase you in knowledge and patience with your situation.
I hope you consider the following points of advice, and in sha’ Allah, it will relieve you of your stress and guide you to make the best decision for you.
Your love for your husband is apparent. Your love for God is also apparent. Remember, they are not the same nor should they be equal. Your life goal is not to make your husband happy under all circumstances. I feel your struggle is between making God and your husband happy. You have chosen your relationship with God above your husband (this is why you have not shared more details), and this is the right choice. Do not disobey God in obedience of your husband. When God has graced us with covering our sins, we should never reveal them!
„There is no obedience to anyone in disobedience to God, verily obedience is in that which is correct. „ ( Bukhari and Muslim)
Your husband should not threaten you with his displeasure if you don’t tell him about your past. Technically, it is not his business. Your future is his business. Telling your husband more details about your past will only make things worse. Do not share any more about it, especially if you feel God has forgiven you and brought you closer through this journey. Your perception seems to be accurate, and it is your truth. Stick with your intuition. If your husband can not let go of this matter, he needs to seek counsel. He has no right to probe your past from an Islamic perspective. If he did, then the idea of true repentance and letting go of mistakes would not be a reality in our religion.
Check out this counseling video:
Sometimes, it is wiser to withhold information for the betterment of the situation. In your case, it is better not to tell than to think you have to because you are being dishonest. Think about it like this: there is a difference between literal truth and heartfelt honesty. Literal truth can still cause pain and harm. If you tell your husband everything, you are sharing all the literal facts of truth but will potentially damage your relationship. Upholding true Truth (Al Haqq) is to honor reality with honesty, wisdom, beauty, and all other virtues. This is why Islam is the Truth, because it contains a complete package of practicing virtues including honesty, warmth, and kindness. Sometimes, it is more truthful to cover than to reveal.
The Day of Judgment is going to be so heavy and momentous on every single soul that no one will care about anyone else. Your husband will not find out about your life secrets nor will you of his. Each of us will have our own secrets revealed, and we must account for it – alone. Each of you will be in the ultimate presence of God, drowning in your own accountability. In short, there will be no communication between you two, and this topic will be irrelevant.
„And fear a Day when no soul will suffice for another soul at all, nor will intercession be accepted from it, nor will compensation be taken from it, nor will they be aided.” (Quran 2:48)
With God, may you be strengthening with the best decisions, Amin!
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.