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Often Scolding My Wife: Do I Have Mental Illness?

Questioner

B

Reply Date

Jan 04, 2019

Question

I am 43 years old. I cannot explain how much stress my wife and I are going through for the past 1.5 years. We have a lot of misunderstandings and I always quarrel with her for the mistakes she has made. I am the first and foremost reason for the present situation. I suspect there is black magic on us. I take care of my father and mother whom she also respects. But my parents have started to hate her since she went to stay with them and take care of them.

Since then she has also been complaining about them, and the problems have expanded. My wife was left alone and developed contact with someone through phone. I came to know about it. Since then I am scolding her every day for the past 1.5 years. I know very well I am bad and I need consultation with a psychologist. Please let me know how I could escape from this problem forever.

Counselor

Answer


Often Scolding My Wife: Do I Have Mental Illness?

In this counseling answer:

“Please, find a trusted psychiatrist or mental health professional in your area and find out if you are, indeed, suffering from a mental illness since you mentioned that some behaviors are uncontrollable. Please, do not hesitate to help yourself and to get the right kind of treatment to improve your overall situation. ”


Salam ‘Alaikum Brother,

Thank you for sending us your question. I am sorry to hear about the predicament that both you and your wife are in. I ask Allah (swt) to help the both of you find the right kind of help to assist you two in overcoming the difficulties that you face.

Brother, your question was very brief, so I will answer the question to the best of my ability. It seems that you scold your wife very often and you do not know why you do that. After some time passed with such behavior directed towards her, your wife got disheartened and left you. Now, you found out that she is talking with another man on the phone. You also mention that you know you have been doing wrong towards your wife: “I know very well that I am bad, and that I need some consultation with a psychologist.”


In this counseling video:


Brother, I highly recommend you do just that! Please, find a trusted psychiatrist or mental health professional in your area and find out if you are, indeed, suffering from a mental illness since you mentioned that some behaviors are uncontrollable. Please, do not hesitate to help yourself and to get the right kind of treatment to improve your overall situation. That must be done before anything else. Your health and well-being must be taken care of before solving any other problems (including your marriage).

After you have been stabilized and are undergoing the right kind of treatment, then at that time, it would be best to try to discuss things with your wife. The best way to do so would be through marriage counseling or for her to help you by being included in your own personal treatment with the mental health professional you have chosen to work with.

Starting mental health treatment is the most important thing you can do at this point.

I ask Allah (swt) to help you to overcome the difficulties you face.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

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Husband’s Work Life is Killing Our Marriage

How Prophet Muhammad Reprimanded Aisha




About Aliah F. Azmeh

Aliah F. Azmeh is a licensed clinical social worker who practices in Detroit, Michigan. Aliah graduated with a Master's degree in Social Work from the University of Michigan in 2007 and has experience working in the United States and overseas. Aliah currently works as a clinical social worker and provides individual, family, and marital counseling at Muslim Family Services in Detroit, MI.

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