Salamu ‘Alaykum brother,
Thank you for sending us your question. I am sorry to read about the troubles you are facing in your marriage. I ask Allah to help the both of you communicate more effectively and respect one another.
Brother, you have mentioned that you and your wife are generally happy with one another and have a beautiful boy together alhamdulillah. However, you and your wife seem to have a philisophical difference about how to live your lives and how a marriage should be. You have mentioned that your wife ’is greedy” and demands for ’equal rights” when you have arguments with each other. It appears that you have a different opinion when it comes to solving problems within your relationship, and this difference of opinion has caused friction within your marriage.
My suggestion to the both of you would be to sit down with each other when the both of you are calm and content and discuss how the both of you want to solve issues within your marriage. Be open and honest with each other and listen to each other respectfully and calmly. It appears that the both of you have different opinions. Keep in mind that it is normal within any marriage, and that the both of you just need to let each other know about your thoughts, feelings, and dreams. Do not allow yourself to get angry and just listen indiscriminantly. Then talk frankly and openly about your feelings and dreams to your wife. Try to find a solution between the both of you.
If the both of you attempted to do so several times but with little success, then I would highly recommend marriage counseling. Counseling will help the both of you communicate and discuss such issues with a trained professional. If counseling is available in your place of residence, please do not hesitate to seek it if things continue to get more difficult between the two of you.
Another point to make is that your marriage is between you and your wife. Your parents, her parents, your friends, and anybody else does not get a say in what you should or shouldn’t do within your marriage. A marriage should be respected and is considered sacred by Allah. Therefore, it must be taken care of and honored. Only seeking help from people you believe will truley help you if you want to seek advise. However, the most important thing you can do is to continue talking to your wife respectfully and openly about your feelings and encourage her to do the same. The key here is RESPECT, because a lot of times as human beings, we forget and start to feel angry and hurt if your spouse has a different opinion than you. Keep in mind that these differences of opinion are normal and natural.
May Allah help you both communicate more effectively and honor each other’s feelings and dreams.
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