As- Salaam ’Alaykum sister,
Based on what you shared, it is important to reflect on the following points:
- It seems you have already moved on and have no connection of intimacy for this brother besides you share a daughter.
- It is interesting that after your former husband found himself in economic hardship after his two years of living single, he is now ready to be involved with his daughter.
- You should refer to a scholar of Islamic law; however my understanding is that you cannot marry him again unless you and he are married to someone else before you remarry according to Islamic law. This principle is established to help people move on and make serious decisions. In Islam, a person is protected from being taken advantage of by divorcing and remarrying several times. Hence, you have to marry someone else and then be divorced to consider a former partner for marriage again.
- He is the one who divorced you for being “disobedient and disrespectful.” Why is he apologizing to you and asking to be with you again?
- Your daughter can have her father in her life without you being married to him; marriage is not the only solution.
Considering the above, I don’t think you have the Islamic or sensible reasoning to remarry him. I don’t see how remarriage to someone that is not responsible and you have no love for will help your daughter, especially if it will harm you in the process. It does not sound to me like it was a solid relationship to begin with, and even if you could remarry him, you would first have to conduct premarital counseling for at least six months before making any decisions. This would ensure you both work out your deeper issues and would reflect true dedication and commitment to making things work.
Remember sister, your daughter needs a healthy outlook on life and having her parents “together” is not equal to having harmony and proper parenting together. If you two do not get along well and create heartache and a negative atmosphere due to a lack of true intimacy, it will only damage everyone in the family even more so. It is better to provide your daughter stability and a loving environment even if her father is not present all the time.
I would suggest your next step is to work on civil relations with her father and let him be more responsible with his daughter as he said he would like to, however this does not require marriage to you. In fact, if he makes getting remarried a condition to take responsibility again, this will reveal his actual agenda, which is likely that he wants financial support and easy way out of his situation, and Allah knows best.
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