Peace be Upon You,
We thank you for writing to our counseling service. We hope that the advice we offer is beneficial to you.
First, we want to remind you that you should never let yourself become too complacent in a relationship where one party is constantly threatening with divorce. That sort of behavior is unhealthy for everyone concerned. The next time your husband threatens to divorce you, let him know how much it truly hurts you to hear him talk like that.
Second, you need to sit down with your husband without delay and discuss the future of your marriage. Throughout our experience, we have found that Muslim men marry Christian or Jewish women for various reasons. There are obviously many challenges to be dealt with in an interfaith relationship.
Your husband seems to be quite anxiety-ridden. Ask him to be honest with you as to whether he married you thinking that you would become a Muslim. It is quite possible that he is uncertain about being married to you because he has realized that you are quite content with your religion and have no immediate plans to become a Muslim. In case he is not aware of the Islamic outlook on interfaith marriages, remind him that the wife does not have to become a Muslim, and the only requirement is that the children should be raised as Muslims. Since you seem to have had children from your previous marriage, your children can be raised as Christians, but any children you have with your Muslim husband must be raised as Muslims.
Finally, we urge you to look out for your and your children’s best interests. If at all it seems that your husband is unwilling to resolve his uncertainty about being married to you, then you need to consider for the sake of your own future if it is constructive to remain married to him. The ideal situation would be for you to avoid divorce, but you also should not let yourself remain in a volatile situation where the threats of divorce are constant and divorce itself is imminent. We wish you the best.
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