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I Am Afraid of Sex; I Have a Small Penis

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Nov 14, 2018

Question

I was scared of getting married, but 2 months ago I got married. Now, I am afraid to have a sexual relationship with my wife. I am scared she may divorce me or tell everybody that I have a 3-inch small penis.

I am so worried about the situation of getting into a sexual relationship with her. I am praying a lot but not getting answers at all whether I should try having sex with my wife or not. She is not that much reliable. Please help! I am just wasting my time…

Counselor

Answer


I Am Afraid of Sex; I Have a Small Penis

In this counseling answer:

• Instead of focusing on this thing that makes you feel anxious, try focusing on the positive things that are not related to it.

• As you become more relaxed concentrating on other things, your attention will be taken off it.

• The more time you spend worrying about it, the more difficult it will become.


Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh brother,

When you selected your spouse or had her selected for you, I imagine you have looked at many of her traits and her of you. Since you proceeded with the marriage, it is likely that you both found many positive things in each other.

Of course, your situation makes you anxious about having intercourse with her. However, there is more to a marriage than this.

Instead of focusing on this thing that makes you feel anxious, try focusing on the positive things that are not related to it.

Develop a Close Relationship

Develop a close relationship with her so that you do not need to fear the physical aspect anymore. Sex is done out of love and to increase the bond more than anything else.

It seems this issue takes you over. So, by focusing on other more important things, your mind will be taken off it. As you become more relaxed concentrating on other things, your attention will be taken off it. It will become less of an issue to you and make it easier for you to approach your wife. This will be further made easier once you have developed a close bond with your wide as well.

Focus on Other Enjoyable Stuff

Take the pressure off this single issue and focus on nurturing other things such as love in the relationship. Do things together as well as other things outside of sex that makes you feel good about yourself. This will boost your confidence generally as you come to feel more confident in yourself as a person without the worry of physical traits like the presenting issue here.


Check out this counseling video:


Try not to place too much pressure on yourself regarding this single thing as this will only make it harder as time passes. The more time you spend worrying about it, the more difficult it will become.

Instead, focus this attention on other things. Use this energy to do things so that you do not waste your time as you have stated.

This feeling of wasting time will only add to your psychological burden and make you not feel good about yourself. Using your time well, doing useful things will counter these negative thoughts you have about yourself and how you spend your time and services to increase your confidence which will spill over into other aspects of your life.

May Allah bring you happiness and contentment in your marriage and make you and your wife the coolness of each other’s eyes.

Amen,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

Small Penis & Premature Ejaculation: How Will I Get Married?

Does Penis Size Matter in Marital Bed?

Is a Wife Entitled for Sexual Intercourse?




About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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