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Mother-in-Law Accuses Me of Lying

Questioner

A

Reply Date

Feb 22, 2018

Question

Please help me answer. My mother-in-law accused me of doing a lot of wrong things. She wants me to admit, for example, that I have been stealing from her which I would never do. My marriage is suffering because my husband believes what his mother says and not what I say. I don't think things will be resolved. Is it ok to seek counselling to help us save our marriage? I make du'aa' and continue praying that Allah helps me.

Counselor

Answer


Mother-in-Law Accuses Me of Lying

In this counseling answer:

“Seek marriage counseling even with a non-Muslim if a Muslim counselor is not available. We get treatment from non-Muslim doctors when we are ill, so certainly we should seek counseling for our personal and marital problems even if a Muslim counselor is not available.”


As-Salamu ‘Alaykum sister,

Thank you for sending us your question. I am sorry to hear about the predicament within your household. I ask Allah to help you, your husband, and your mother-in-law overcome this difficulty and all others, to give you all the courage to be open and honest with each other, and to uphold Allah’s word:

“O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah , even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives.” (4:135)

It must be extremely difficult and frustrating to be accused of something over and over again that you haven’t done. On top of that, you probably may feel hurt and betrayed that your husband does not stand by your side and stand up for the truth. Certainly, in Islam, we are ordered to respect and obey our parents, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with respectfully advising them and correcting them if they do wrong, especially when it comes to oppressing others. Allah has ordered us to refrain from oppressing others and to stand up against oppression, as the above verse indicates.

You have asked your written question if it is acceptable to you and your husband to seek counseling. That is certainly the best investment you can make, and I highly recommend you do so. Seek marriage counseling even with a non-Muslim if a Muslim counselor is not available. We get treatment from non-Muslim doctors when we are ill, so certainly we should seek counseling for our personal and marital problems even if a Muslim counselor is not available.

I ask Allah to give the both of you courage and perseverance to stand up for the truth, stand up for your marriage, and to find peace within yourselves once more in sha’ Allah.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aliah F. Azmeh

Aliah F. Azmeh is a licensed clinical social worker who practices in Detroit, Michigan. Aliah graduated with a Master's degree in Social Work from the University of Michigan in 2007 and has experience working in the United States and overseas. Aliah currently works as a clinical social worker and provides individual, family, and marital counseling at Muslim Family Services in Detroit, MI.

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