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In-Laws Broke My Marriage

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Jan 05, 2019

Question

I am having dreams about my in-laws who were the main cause of me and my husband to separate. He hasn’t contacted me for a year, but he hasn’t mentioned that he wants to divorce me. I am having dreams about them trying to make me fit into the family and husband just staring at me. What does this mean?

Counselor

Answer


In-Laws Broke My Marriage

In this counseling answer:

• Seek marriage counseling or initiate the divorce.

• Pray istikharah.


As Salamu Alaykum sister,

Thank you for writing to us. I am not sure I understand your question, but I will do my best. As I understand, you are having dreams about your in-laws who were the main cause of your separation. You have been for a year. Your husband has not gotten in contact with you, nor has his family. Your dreams are about them trying to make you fit in the family while your husband just stares.

Sister, in the absence of istakhara prayer, often times our dreams are reflections of what is going on in our subconscious. Perhaps, after all this time you are still hurt over their interference. Maybe deep down you wished they had been that loving family inviting you to be a part of their lives. Sadly, however, it is not how it worked out.


Check out this counseling video:


Sister, they have not contacted you since the separation, nor has your husband. This is not the actions of ones who care. Based on this fact, perhaps your dreams are signifying that it is time you moved on with your life. This would mean a divorce. It may be that you need to start to initiate divorce as it has been over a year. No one has gotten in touch with you, sister, to even see if you were okay.

I would kindly suggest that you make istakhara prayer. Ask Allah for signs as to your marriage. Try to have a clear mind when you do which includes no preconceived wishes or notions. Just go to Allah and insha’Allah let Allah show you the way.

I hope this has helped some, dear sister. Please, do write back with more detail if you need a more expounded upon response.

You are in our prayers.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

Breach of Marriage Promise: Islamic?

Before It’s Too Late – A Real Story

Top 10 Reasons Why Marriage Fails




About Aisha Mohammad-Swan

Aisha Mohammad-Swan received her PhD in psychology in 2000. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York with a focus on PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, and Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. She is currently studying for her certification in Islamic Chaplaincy, and takes Islamic courses at SHC. Aisha works at a Women's Daytime Drop in Center, and has her own part-time practice in which she integrates counseling and holistic health. Aisha also received an MA in Public Health/Community Development in 2009 and plans to open a community counseling/resource center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah.

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