In this counseling answer:
“While I understand the pain of love and heart back is heavy, and it seems like things in life will never get better, time will heal. These sour experiences will help you have a sweeter tomorrow through the wisdom you have gained from these mistakes. Remember, we are spiritual beings in human experiences and the soul is what helps us endure what the body and mind cannot burden.”
I am sorry to hear about your grief and the difficult journey you are in. Human nature, in my opinion, seeks meaning and value in life. If we do not feel this from our loved ones, it can leave us feeling empty and lost. When this happens, we seek to fill the void through other relationships that can fulfill our sense of value again. Despite your particular psycho-emotional variables, the reality is that you and this man had an affair and with that comes no good. Unfortunately, you are now reaping what has been sowed. But do not despair. Allah says in the Quran:
“And seek forgiveness of Allah. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.” (Quran 4:106)
There are a few options to consider at this point:
The first one is to remain married to your husband, if you choose, with the hope that he can forgive you for the affair. If he is open to forgiveness, then the next step is cultivating the fulfillment you two need which caused the affair in the first place. This will require long-term marital therapy, but with patience, the rebuilding of trust, and sincere efforts, there may be a chance, in sha’ Allah. I recommend you review this website to get started on affair recovery.
The second option is to wait to see if the man you had an affair with actually wants to move forward with his partnership with you. You can give him more time and see if he is willing to marry you and you are still willing to marry him. While this new marriage will come with its own baggage and issues, due to the fact that each of you is breaking up your previous marriages, perhaps it can also find some success with sincere efforts and commitment to one another, if your bond is true of substance.
The last option is to get divorced from your current husband if you really are unhappy and neglected, regardless of getting remarried. In this case, you will need to consider practical options on lifestyle and family support. Review your legal rights and get your extended family involved in the process. During this time you focus on providing for yourself and purifying your heart and soul before Allah and see what life unfolds for you as far as future partners.
While I understand the pain of love and heart back is heavy, and it seems like things in life will never get better, time will heal. These sour experiences will help you have a sweeter tomorrow through the wisdom you have gained from these mistakes. Remember, we are spiritual beings in human experiences and the soul is what helps us endure what the body and mind cannot burden.
God makes it easy for you and yours.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.