In this counseling answer:
You have to ask yourself whether you are still committed to your wife and your children and whether you have imposed enough self-restraints that you will never again approach adultery, let alone engage in adulterous acts or relationships.
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We are pleased that you have such a strong marital relationship, and more importantly that you are feeling remorse for having committed such a grave offence. Allah Most High is merciful and we are reminded to repent to Him (swt) for our sins. So, before you do anything else, you must make it a part of your daily worship routine to repent to Allah (swt) and to seek His forgiveness for your sins. Increase your voluntary prayers, your fasting, and giving in charity as well. Draw nearer to Allah (swt) with more voluntary good deeds, and promise yourself and Allah Most High that you will never again commit such sins.
The more complex question remains: should you tell your wife about your transgressions? The sin you committed has left an indelible mark on your heart and this mark is known to you and Allah Most High alone. You have to ask yourself whether you are still committed to your wife and your children and whether you have imposed enough self-restraints that you will never again approach adultery, let alone engage in adulterous acts or relationships.
If you cannot commit to this, then we believe it is an injustice for you to remain married to your wife, and the first step would be for you to inform her. If you can, in fact, commit to remaining monogamous and faithful to your wife from now on, then you should not tell her about your sinful actions. Those sins remain between you and Allah (swt), who, if He (swt) had willed, could have made them public.
In order to repair your relationship with your wife, we strongly suggest that you spend the rest of your life in faithful commitment to her and your children. Keep repenting in private, assuring yourself of Allah’s (swt) mercy but never becoming complacent to the extent that you think you have repented enough!Turn back to Allah (swt) and turn your life aright, in sha’ Allah.
Did you commit zina? Should you face the punishment? These and other questions are answered by our learned scholars in the Fatwa section. You may read further the link below and submit your own question to the scholars.
Allah (swt) knows best,
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