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I Found Out My Brother’s Wife is Keen on Me

28 January, 2017
Q As-Salamu `Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. I am 23, and I have recently found out that my elder brother’s wife is keen on me. The way she looks at me tells me everything, but she does not know that I know what is in her mind. I have been acting as if I am unaware of her, so she is trying to grab my attention.I found out that nowadays my brother has begun to suspect her. I fear he might divorce her if he finds out that she loves me, which will endanger the future for their kids, and it will hurt me for the rest of my life. Please note that my brother is nearly 10 years older than me, and his wife two years senior to me, and their mutual relationship is not up to the mark. There is no pious person whom I can confide in about this complex situation. I feel for my brother, his wife and their kids, and I want to see them happy. Please advise me what to do. I am waiting for your response. May Allah reward you all.

Answer

Answer:

As-Salamu ‘Alaikom brother,

It is a cause for concern that women, like your sister-in-law, seem to be too receptive to their lower passions. Like Potiphar’s wife, she comes around to seize the attention of a man that is forbidden to her. By behaving in this way, she knows (at least subconsciously) that there is something not quite right about what she doing. However, with women like Potiphar’s wife, the danger includes you as well, as she can frame you in order to clear herself. This is how Prophet Yusuf was framed because of the service that found him daily in the presence of Potiphar’s wife. (Quran, 12:30)

Is there a reason why you have to be in your brother’s home so frequently? Yes, one can understand your indignation if, because of this woman, you are not able to visit your brother, but for all concerned, you should consider arranging to meet him away from his home. This would make a big difference and could contribute towards stabilizing their marriage.

Be in no doubt that she does not love you, but merely desires you. She has obviously chosen to marry well for personal security, but has not married for reasons that can cater to her needs. At least, this is what she believes.

As you have mentioned, “Their mutual relationship is not up to the mark”, and this problem is one that they will have to face together; to see how they can strengthen the nature of their relationship and increase mutual understanding. What is important for you now is that you distance yourself from this situation and continue your relationship with your brother through outside activities, like spending time together with other relatives and at the same time allowing your brother to spend time with his wife and put effort into his marriage.

Salams,

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About Hwaa Irfan
Late Hwaa Irfan, may her soul rest in peace, served as consultant, counselor and freelance writer. Her main focus was on traditional healing mechanisms as practiced in various communities, as opposed to Western healing mechanisms.