As-Salamu ‘Alaykum sister,
I am so truly sorry to hear that you were molested. It is truly an act of vile and heinous sinfulness which has severe consequences. You are not alone dear sister; sadly many young girls are sexually molested worldwide. While you stated you were afraid to tell anyone at the time, dear sister I want to make one thing very clear – it was not your fault; you were a victim. While you did not mention the ages of the “men” who molested you, emotionally I do not recommend marrying your cousin! When a child is violated in that way, it often leaves deep scares emotionally. As you stated you grew up feeling shy, unsocial, and feeling dirty, to think about marrying one of your molesters, to wake up and see his face every morning, may trigger deeper psychological trauma than you have already experienced. I ask you to look at the reasons why you are even contemplating this! You are worth so much, sister! Behind your shame, pain and feelings of being “dirty” is a wonderful, pious, beautiful, intelligent young woman. I want you to get in touch with her – and love her and protect her!
Please, dear sister, I ask that you get counseling as soon as possible in sha’ Allah for the abuse that has occurred. Please, seek out a qualified therapist who can help you work through the resulting trauma of being sexually abused. It is not normal to want to marry someone who violated you.
You are in our prayers dear sister. We love you and care about you!
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