Answer
In this counseling answer:
“You must take care of yourself first before committing to any kind of relationship. The only relationship you should focus on now is with yourself and Allah.”
Wa ‘Alaykum As-Salam sister,
Sister, I have to urge you to seek help as soon as possible. You have described in your written question that you have been abused mentally and physically by your father for many years and have been contemplating suicide. You even attempted suicide once. When a person gets to a point in which they feel so hopeless and miserable that they want to end their own lives, it means that real help is way overdue.
I read that you are 18 years old and live in Canada. You are considered an adult in that country and can legally make your own decisions. You are also in a country that provides mental health treatment both inpatient and outpatient.
Sister, I urge you to please seek help by going to your nearest emergency room and telling them that you have suicidal thoughts. They will assess your situation and refer you to the best possible treatment options for you. Please, do not belittle this advice. It is absolutely crucial for you to take a proactive step to help yourself move on in life.
Do not be afraid of seeking this kind of help. The right kind of treatment for depression and suicidal thoughts is mental health treatment, therapy, and other resources that can help you reach your goal (like better jobs, scholarships, housing, etc.). Since you are an adult, you legally do not need your parents to be present with you or to give you consent for seeking treatment or any other kind of service.
As a Muslim, you are ordered by Allah to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally so you can reach your highest potential and be Allah’s khalifa on earth by contributing positively to the world. Seeking out the right kind of treatment for your situation is not going against Allah’s teachings. Mental health treatment can certainly work to help diminish your thoughts of suicide and decrease your depression. Therapy is truly powerful if you take it seriously and open your heart and mind to it.
Getting the right kind of treatment for your suicidal thoughts and depression is the absolute first step you can do. You cannot focus on anything else at this point. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally and please take this first step.
After your thoughts subside, you can seek out other resources for help. If you know of a Muslim mental health professional that you can talk to and ask questions to (like a psychologist, social worker, psychiatrist), then I suggest to you to contact them and have any questions you may have cleared up. Get to know the resources around you that you can utilize (like social service agencies, mental health organizations, etc.).
The reason I am not recommending marriage for you at this point is that it is a temporary escape from your current situation. Chances are that after marriage, you will discover that other issues will start to arise and you will not be able to adequately handle them. That is because you didn’t get the right kind of help in the first place to treat your own suicidal thoughts and depression. Whenever a difficulty arises, you may feel the same kind of symptoms creeping back again. You must take care of yourself first before committing to any kind of relationship. The only relationship you should focus on now is with yourself and Allah.
I ask Allah to help you, give you the strength and courage to help yourself, and take those first crucial steps to recovery.
Salam,
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
