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She Was Sexually Harrassed, Now Addicted to Masturbation

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Dec 21, 2016

Question

Salam. I have a question on someone's behalf she feels ashamed about it. She was sexually harassed not raped by her cousin while sleeping when she was very young. The sex drive grew in her slowly and now the lust has grown stronger. She ended up masturbating. Now she hasn't done it and trying to control and is afraid that she might commit it again. She has told her parents in various indirect ways to get her married but her parents aren't taking it serious, she is 26 and she has done wazifa and prayers but no effect. She is afraid and does not want to commit zina at any cost. Please help

Counselor

Answer


She Was Sexually Harrassed, Now Addicted to Masturbation

Answer:

As-Salamu ‘Alaikum,

May Allah (swt) reward you for reaching out to help your friend who is experiencing such a difficult and embarrassing situation.

Masturbation is, indeed, a big sin that can have terrible consequences. Ma sha’ Allah, she is going about resolving her addiction in a very excellent way by seeking to get married so that she can have her needs met in a halal way.

It is unfortunate, however, that her parents are not taking it seriously, perhaps because they are not seeing through the indirect ways she is asking for their assistance. Maybe they simply don’t understand the situation, so she may have to take a more direct approach or ask other sisters who she is more comfortable with to assist her in finding a potential spouse and then approach the parents to take it further via a marriage meeting. Marriage is the best solution to avoid commiting zina and is one of the reasons why we are encouraged to marry in Islam.

She also needs to understand that masturbation can be the source of marital destruction as it may be that she becomes desensitised or is unable to have an intimate bond with her husband as she becomes too reliant on herself.

There a couple of other things that this sister needs to think about, too. Her masturbation now may well be a result of the sexual abuse that she faced when she was young. She might need to seek counselling to overcome the impact that this has had on her in order to overcome it and potentially address the reasons behind her habit of masturbation in the first place.

In addition, whislt waiting to find a spouse, she can assist herself in resisting this habit by ensuring to keep as close to Allah (swt) by engaging in as much worship as possible. Always remembering Allah (swt) and fearing Him (swt) will make it more uncomfortable for her to engage in masturbation as she always has in mind that Allah (swt) is watching her and masturbation is a sin. The fear of Allah (swt) in mind will make it easier for her to abstain, in sha’ Allah. This may be difficult for her at first, but, for the sake of Allah (swt), she has to try and stop.

Besides keeping busy in acts of worship, she can also busy herself in productive activities, taking up a hobby maybe that will occupy her time and keep her distracted from thoughts of masturbation, especially if these are hobbies outside of the home where she cannot be tempting to just go and masturbate.

Always being in the company of others will also serve the same effect. Attending social gatherings at the mosque, for example, can also be another useful way to curb this habit because not only will she be away from home, but she will be with other God-fearing sisters who can be a good influence for her and keep her busy.

Lastly, one of the best solutions to such an addiction is to fast. Obviously, the act of masturbation is forbidden whilst fasting and, therefore, whilst fasting she cannot do such. Fasting is also a means of getting closer to Allah (swt), so would be a useful thing for her to try, too.

May Allah (swt) make it easy for your friend to overcome her addiction and find a righteous spouse very soon.

Salam,

***

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About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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