Answer
Answer:
Salamu ‘Alaikum Brother,
Thank you for sending us your question. I ask Allah (swt) to help you overcome your weaknesses and to overcome your addiction.
Brother, you are on the right track when you confessed to yourself and to us through your written question that you are, indeed, addicted to something. In your case, you have mentioned that you are addicted to sexual relations. The first step to recovery is always being honest with yourself and identifying that something in your behavior is unhealthy which causes a negative impact in your life. Stay honest and focused on what kind of behavior you are not happy with.
While having this understanding is an essential first step, your second step should be to figure out the cause. Since your written question is very brief, you would need to ask yourself a series of questions. Are you currently in a relationship/married? Have you ever been in a relationship in the past? If so, how emotionally and physically satisfying was that relationship/marriage? Do you suffer from a mental illness or physical illness? How was your childhood experiences? Do you have any unresolved feelings of guilt, anger, or any other negative feeling?
With sexual addiction in particular, many who are addicted have never had a strong emotional connection with someone and may also have a mental illness and/or a history of abuse. Therefore, such issues would need to be resolved. For example, if someone has a mental illness and is addicted to sex, then the metal illness needs to be treated to help with overcoming the addiction. If you have unresolved feelings of anger, for instance, or have had a history of abuse, than those feelings would need to be resolved and addressed. A helpful way to do so is through mental health counseling. I would highly recommend a professional counselor to help with reaching your goals in regards to overcoming any mental illness as well as the sexual addiction (if that therapist has experience treating sex addiction).
Your third step would be to explore details of your addiction. Ask yourself when your addiction started and what triggered it. How often do you feel the urges? How do you feel before you get the urges? (Are you sad, anxious, angry, hopeless, etc.?). How do you usually deal with those feelings? Then afterwards, how do you deal with the urges?
You mentioned that you feel the need to engage in sex at least once a week and masturbation five times a week. Which one do you usually prefer: sex or masturbation? How do you feel afterwards? Why do you think you feel the need to engage in these acts? And finally in your opinion, what would be considered a healthy sex life and what is your goal? A good way to track your thoughts and feelings is through writing or keeping a diary.
The fourth step would be to prepare to make some kind of action. After identifying your negative behavior and what triggers that behavior and your goals, it is time to work to reach those goals. Be proactive in a way in which you would replace your current behavior with something else. For example, you may feel anxious before you get those urges. So, instead of engaging in your some kind of sexual behavior, engage in vigorous exercises whenever you get anxious. In this way, you would make it into a habit with time.
In general, I would highly recommend that you seek professional help with a mental health counselor, as mentioned earlier. A counselor will help you to become more mindful of your past, present behavior, and to formulate goals. A counselor will also help you at every step of the way when you decide to actively overcome your addiction.
This website may be of help to you in regards to getting more information and possibly speaking with a certified therapist who specialized in sex addiction.
There is another very good online program, Purify Your Gaze, for Muslims who are addicted to sex, masturbation, and porn.
May Allah (swt) help you to overcome whatever difficulties you may be facing.
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