Younger Brother Surfing Gay Websites | About Islam
Home > Ask About Parenting > Young Hearts & Minds > Younger Brother Surfing Gay Websites

Younger Brother Surfing Gay Websites

Questioner

D (18-female-India)

Reply Date

Oct 11, 2017

Question

Recently I discovered that my half younger brother was searching gay websites. I was very disturbed and disgusted by his action. He doesn't know that I know about this.I don't know what to do. My relationship with my stepmother is not good, and she doesn't like to be told bad things about her kids. I can't tell my dad about this, because he is not well and I don't want him to worry and make his condition worst. Also, if I tell my dad he might get violent and I don't want to start a fight.Please help. Should I keep quiet?

Counselor

Answer


gay

In this counseling answer:

“First, try and educate him about those sites and their content and try and find out why he is curious about them.It is important to stress the dangers of being overly condemning, for he may or may not understand fully what he is viewing.”


As salamu `alaykum, 

Dear sister, my first reaction to your question is that at this point it is probably not a good idea to go to your step-mother or father with this issue. As an older sibling, I would suggest that you sit down and talk with him about what he is viewing, or ask another older sibling or family member to do so.

It is important to stress the dangers of being overly condemning, for he may or may not understand fully what he is viewing. As a 15-year-old, his curiosity in those sites obviously, has been peeked so it is very important that you find out why. If you condemn him straight away without first trying to understand why he is viewing those sites in the first place, you will risk pushing him away which could be even more detrimental to the overall goal.

First, try and educate him about those sites and their content and try and find out why he is curious about them.It is important to stress the dangers of being overly condemning, for he may or may not understand fully what he is viewing.

Help him to understand rather than respond with a knee-jerk, fear-based reaction that will probably only result in an inability to make any connection with him about the subject.

We are getting more and more questions on this forum -it seems about homosexuality. From what objective scientific, psychological research on homosexuality tells us, homosexuality, though complicated as a phenomenon, often has much to do with parenting and early failures at achieving healthy, appropriate and necessary forms of intimacy. As we continue to see the breakdown in functional, loving and nurturing relationships, particularly among parents and their children, the phenomenon of homosexuality will continue to grow.

I urge you to read and learn more about this very important issue. I hope this is of assistance. Please write back if you have further questions.


Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides. 

Read more:

I Caught My Son Surfing Porn Websites!

I Committed Zina, Will Have a Child, What to do ?

 




About Dr. Abd. Lateef Krauss Abdullah

Dr. Abd. Lateef Krauss Abdullah is a Research Fellow at the Institute for Social Science Study’s Community Education and Youth Studies Laboratory, Universiti Putra Malaysia. He received his B.A. from the University of Delaware (U.S.), his M.S. from Columbia University (U.S.) and his PhD from the Institute for Community & Peace Studies (PEKKA), Universiti Putra Malaysia in 2005 in the field of Youth Studies. Abd. Lateef is an American who has been living in Malaysia since 2001. He is married and has 2 children.

Add Comment


find out more!