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So Young for Wearing Hijab, I Want to Take it Off!

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Mar 10, 2018

Question

Assalamu'alaikum, a few months ago, my life changed after I dreamt about wearing hijab and reciting Quran. It was like a wake-up call for me so after that, I never missed salah, I was afraid of sinning and the biggest step of all; I started wearing hijab. It was a drastic change and it all occurred very quickly but I was very proud of myself for making the decision to wear it. However, lately, I sense that I might go back to my old ways. I've been skipping salah, I find joy in lazing around with my friends until morning and I've been thinking of taking off my hijab because I realize that I'm not behaving like a proper Muslim. Also, I'm still young for wearing it. What should I do? I nearly took it off a couple of times but I didn't.

Counselor

Answer


In this counseling answer:

“Sister, it is very important that you realize that we all are tested, that yes the shaitan does whisper to Allah’s servant’s to pull them away from their creator.  However, we have free choice.  We have the ability to think for ourselves and choose the right path.  We have the option to follow Allah SWT, or to follow the shaitan.  If we chose to follow what we know is wrong, then we cannot blame the shaitan, can we?  Because we made a conscious choice to do so.”


As salamu alaykum,

Shokran for writing to us with your most important concerns.  While I am not sure of your age sister I will say that as you had such a profound dream it is indeed a blessing.  I am not an Islamic scholar however it appears that your dream may signify something very special for you to pay attention to sister.

Not everyone (in fact few) experience such direct dreams.  It could mean that one day you may teacher other sister’s about Islam, or teach them how to recite, read, and learn from Al Qur’an.  If so, you have a wonderful responsibility insha’Allah!

However, with blessings come tests and trials.  If Allah were to give you a gift (such as Qur’an memorization or teaching others) He can test you for your seriousness and devotion should he chose.

Additionally, whenever we get closer to Allah, often times the shaitan will try to pull us away from Allah SWT, like what may be happening now.  The shaitan as you know tries as best as he can to pull servants from their Beloved.  The shaitan hates it when we worship Allah and are devoted to Allah swt.  The shaitan can whisper in our ears, telling us falsehoods and making us think things that will hurt our relationship with our Beloved creator.

Things like “your “I’m” too tired to worship Allah; I’d rather just hang out with my friends, it won’t hurt to miss a few salats; doing this haram thing won’t affect me, I’ve been wearing hijab for months now, I can take it off”  and so forth.  See sister, the shaitan plays upon our weaknesses as well as tries to trick us into thinking there is no danger in how our thought processes are being manipulated.  But there is great danger!

In the Qur’an  it states “O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan – indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing. And if not for the favor of Allah upon you and His mercy, not one of you would have been pure, ever, but Allah purifies whom He wills, and Allah is Hearing and Knowing”.(Quran 24:21)

Remember, Allah SWT purifies whom He wills, and He is All Seeing-and-All Knowing as stated above.  If this is true  (and it is) you had a purifying dream and now you are being tested as to your imam and your perseverance.  Will you listen to the shaitan’s whispering after being given such a blessing as your dream and the recent change of behavior which draws you closer to Allah?  Or will you stay close to Allah and reject these thoughts and feelings you have?

Sister, it is very important that you realize that we all are tested, that yes the shaitan does whisper to Allah’s servant’s to pull them away from their creator.  However, we have free choice.  We have the ability to think for ourselves and choose the right path.  We have the option to follow Allah SWT, or to follow the shaitan.  If we chose to follow what we know is wrong, then we cannot blame the shaitan, can we?  Because we made a conscious choice to do so.

We are all striving sister, we are all imperfect and we are subject to falling back from our good habits of worship and living Islamically.  That is exactly why we need Allah, the most merciful, the most forgiving.  As many times as we fall short, we can go to Allah and repent for Allah loves to forgive.  However, when we repent we are kind of like promising we will not keep repeating the same mistake or behavior.

So by praying, repenting and turning to Allah in times of weakness, it should, in fact, make us stronger in our relationship with Him thus decreasing our sins and failures over time.  However, sister as you had this dream and recently started praying regularity as well as wearing hijab, I would kindly suggest you do everything you can to keep on this path and do not let anything nor anyone steal your joy.  Your joy is found in the worship of Allah, not in laziness, missing prayers, taking off your hijab and other acts that pull you further from your source of joy-Allah.

Please do keep your daily prayers as they are perfectly timed during the day so as to keep us near to our Lord and away from the shaitan.  Please do insha’Allah give serious thought to your dream as it may signify a very special blessing.  While you stated you are too young yet to wear hijab, I would debate that based on your dream – no matter how old you are.

You were given that dream for a reason.  It is up to you now, concerning how you will respond.  Ask yourself “Of which of your Lord’s blessings will you deny”? I am confident sister that you will make the right choice insha’Allah.  We all go through tests and trials and we all fall short (I know this so well!) but it is how we respond, how we pick ourselves back up that is important.

We wish you the best sister, you are in our prayers.


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About Aisha Mohammad-Swan

Aisha Mohammad-Swan received her PhD in psychology in 2000. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York with a focus on PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, and Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. She is currently studying for her certification in Islamic Chaplaincy, and takes Islamic courses at SHC. Aisha works at a Women's Daytime Drop in Center, and has her own part-time practice in which she integrates counseling and holistic health. Aisha also received an MA in Public Health/Community Development in 2009 and plans to open a community counseling/resource center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah.

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