When Shall I Talk to My Daughter about Puberty? | About Islam
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When Shall I Talk to My Daughter about Puberty?

Questioner

M

Reply Date

Jul 09, 2018

Question

Assalamu Alaikum, I am a mother of 3 children, 2 boys and girl, my daughter is turning 11 insha’allah this month. My question is when do I talk to my daughter about puberty? Thank you.

Counselor

Answer


Puberty

In this counseling answer:

“I kindly suggest that you look at this as an opportunity to be a part of her growth and development so she will feel she can talk to you about anything.  It will insha’Allah bring you both to a new level of closeness and bonding. In a turmoil time such as puberty, your daughter will feel safe and secure she has a mom like you to talk to insha’Allah. ”


As-salamu alaykum sister,
Thank you for writing to us. Regarding your daughter, as she is 11 years old I would kindly suggest you begin talking with her now.

In fact, she may have already started the process of puberty a while ago as some children do begin early by developing public and underarm hair, breast buds, body odor, and even menses. Many young girls have started menses at age 12, so their hormones have started awakening for some time prior to that!

Additionally, your daughter may be going through some bodily changes, but she may be too embarrassed to tell you.  This is common.  She also may be experiencing the awakening of sexual feelings and may be confused by what she is feeling and the changes she sees in her body, however slight they may be.


Check out this counseling video


As I am assuming your daughter is in school, I am quite sure she has heard some talk about puberty from her friends or others around her.

Therefore the information and conversation about puberty are best coming from you, her mom, as you do not want her to get misinformation, or feel abnormal about what changes are coming very soon, or those that have already appeared.

Some parents feel uncomfortable discussing puberty. I kindly suggest that you look at this as an opportunity to be a part of her growth and development so she will feel she can talk to you about anything.  It will insha’Allah bring you both to a new level of closeness and bonding. In a turmoil time such as puberty, your daughter will feel safe and secure she has a mom like you to talk to insha’Allah.

We wish you both the best during this new stage of growth in both of your lives!

Salam

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About Aisha Mohammad-Swan

Aisha Mohammad-Swan received her PhD in psychology in 2000. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York with a focus on PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, and Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. She is currently studying for her certification in Islamic Chaplaincy, and takes Islamic courses at SHC. Aisha works at a Women's Daytime Drop in Center, and has her own part-time practice in which she integrates counseling and holistic health. Aisha also received an MA in Public Health/Community Development in 2009 and plans to open a community counseling/resource center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah.

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